Monthly Archives: June 2015

“My Shield….”

This song was such a blessing to my family and I when we were going through hard times last year. And we still are doing. Difficulty upon difficulty, pain and suffering – but in the midst of all that, “I will say of the Lord, You are my Shield….”

With a song like this, you need to use the lyrics to make it your own. So, He’s your Shield, your Strength, your Fortress and your Deliverer. Declare it in your life. Declare it to your circumstances. Declare it in the face of your enemy and in the face of your adversity. God’s big enough to be your Deliverer at the same time as He’s mine as well. It’s not exclusive. Decide to own His promises right now; sing this song and make it your own.

He has made me glad….. and He can make you glad too.

I will bless the Lord forever
I will trust Him at all times
He has delivered me from all fear
He has set my feet upon a Rock

And I will not be moved
And I’ll say of the Lord….
You are my Shield
My Strength
My Portion
Deliverer
My Shelter
Strong Tower
My very present Help in time of need

Whom have I in Heaven but You?
There’s none I desire beside You

You have made me glad
And I’ll say of the Lord….
You are my Shield
My Strength
My Portion
Deliverer
My Shelter
Strong Tower
My very present Help in time of need

‘Made me Glad’ by Miriam Webster

Also take a look at Psalm 103:1-5:

Bless the Lord, O my soul,
    and all that is within me,
    bless his holy name!
 Bless the Lord, O my soul,
    and forget not all his benefits,
 who forgives all your iniquity,
    who heals all your diseases,
 who redeems your life from the pit,
    who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
 who satisfies you with good things
    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s”

Make it your own today!

Be blessed!

“I thought my job was to stop people’s sin”

I once read in someone else’s blog, “I thought my job was to stop people’s sin.”

Actually this is much of the problem right here. Because deciding what is sin and what is not depends almost entirely upon judging. Judging others and judging their actions, their proclivities and inclinations; in fact, by inference, judging their hearts. Which of course only God can do. This is key; I’d even say it’s actually the nub of the problem.

We need to be careful, though, of judging those who judge. In the same way as we are railing against, their actions too are subject only to the judgement of God, because only He knows their hearts.

In that blog, a responder said ‘I pray our hearts join to bind up the brokenhearted and restore their hope in the Body of Christ as a place of healing, refuge, strength and joy!’ and on the back of this, I would also say that those who judge are also in need of being healed and restored. They too need to be released into the “glorious freedom of the Children of God”. (Romans 8:21)

But we certainly should not judge them – else we are just as guilty. Instead, ‘Pray for those who persecute you’.

Just as an addendum, to those who would say ‘sin is sin, and that’s all there is to it’, I would say that very often what appears right to some people might appear wrong to others. It’s not our job to decide what is sin for others, only for ourselves; indeed Scripture is (I think deliberately) not all that clear in terms of specifics – there are no real ‘lists’ of what is ‘sin’. Granted, there are lists of ‘fruits of the sinful nature’, but  that’s not the same thing; the essential right/wrong decisions are based on letting the Peace of Christ rule in our hearts. And who are we to judge someone else’s faith? We are only answerable to the Master in that regard. (Romans 14:4)

Indeed, I believe that in fact it takes a stronger faith to be openly a ‘different’ Christian – a Christian who does not necessarily agree with what everyone else believes – than it does to just go along with the masses. Because then you are really standing up for what you believe in, in the face of social and religious rejection.

Just like Jesus did.

Coping with the ‘Uncomfortableness’ of people with ‘Different’ Sexualities

As we know, there are many people who have a ‘different’ sexuality from the ‘standard’ heterosexual orientation. These people could be Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, or Queer/Questioning (or ‘LGBTQ’).

I sometimes wonder if one of the main reasons why heterosexual Christians – and others too – are uncomfortable with people who have different sexualities is because they don’t know how to relate to them. They don’t know how to address them, how to deal with someone ‘different’; it’s almost like the awkwardness some people feel when they meet someone in a wheelchair, or perhaps with a disfigurement (and no, I’m not saying that LGBTQ people are disabled or disfigured; it’s an example, ok?!). They don’t want to call attention to the ‘difference’ because they don’t know how to. Sometimes this can even be because they don’t want to upset the person. Now usually people in wheelchairs and with disfigurements, to continue my example, just want to be treated normally. They’re thinking, ‘I don’t want your pity, your compassion; just be normal with me, ok?’

Because many people do not feel comfortable talking about any sexuality subjects, though, they are far less likely to know how to broach the subject, so they feel even more awkward. And then there’s the people who just say it’s ‘wrong according to Scripture’ and that therefore ‘solves’ the problem. But it does not go away! These people still have feelings…and other than their sexuality, they’re just like you in every way. These different sexualities are not actually becoming more common; they have always been in existence. It’s just that society in general (if not on an individual level) are more accepting so it’s easier for people to ‘come out’. Because of this, it’s highly unlikely that anyone will be able to go through life without having to face up to this situation at some point!

So, how do we cope with this in a compassionate way, but without being patronising?

Let me tell you the story of Michael (not his real name). At the time I knew him, about 20-24 years ago, Michael was a top engineer with a company who made specialist scientific equipment. He was such a good engineer, and knew the equipment so well, that on more than one occasion he coached me, over the phone, in repairing a piece of equipment that was broken – back in those days, we were allowed to repair our own kit; a privilege sadly lacking in today’s overprotective society! He’d tell me which relays to check, which cutouts to reset, where to look for blown internal fuses…all most impressive. I’d known Michael for about four years, on and off (he didn’t need to visit all that often).

One day, I was sitting at my bench in the lab and someone came into the room and just stood there looking at me over the top of one of the cabinets. I looked up and saw a woman who looked familiar, but I couldn’t quite place her – and then I twigged (and I’m sure you’ve already guessed it) that it was Michael. Michael with long hair, no beard (he’d had one before), and wearing lipstick and other facial makeup, but still (easily) recognisably Michael nonetheless. I can honestly say that I almost heard my thoughts out loud, “Oh my goodness, it’s Michael, and he’s a woman!” Evidently, Michael was a transgender person….

“Well, Tony”, he said. “I think it’s fair to say that things have changed a bit since last time I saw you…” As I nodded dumbly, Michael came and sat down next to me. The lab had gone silent; everyone else in the lab knew Michael and they too were speechless. Even my boss, normally an unflappable man, had done a double-take. So I thought I’d better say something, “Michael, I never knew!”

“Well, it’s Michaela now, but no, I know it’s a shock” he said in a ‘false’ falsetto voice. At that point, Michaela had not long been on hormone replacement therapy, so his voice was still a man’s deep voice. (Let me explain here: at this time, as far as I was concerned, he was still a man as he still had all his ‘bits’. Nowadays of course, I know differently, but remember this was my first encounter with a person ‘coming out’ in this manner – so from now on in this narrative I will refer to Michaela using feminine pronouns!) In fact, for some months afterwards, it was actually comical to listen to Michaela as she’d begin a conversation in her falsetto voice but she’d forget, and within 5 minutes or so she’d be back to her normal voice again.

So, I chatted with Michaela for quite some time, and after she’d gone, my colleagues all clustered around me and asked stuff like ‘What was that all about?’ and ‘Was that really Michael?’ – they were just as flummoxed as I had been, and right then we had to discuss whether to refer to Michaela as a ‘he’ or a ‘she’, or whatever. Remember also at this time I was a fundamentalist Christian and this was totally outside my comfort zone!

That said, though, I was the only person in the lab who felt comfortable talking to Michaela. I had the opportunity several times to sit and listen to her story and her thoughts. It was either ‘come out’, she said, or she’d have to drive her car into a wall at high speed, so fed up was she with maintaining the pretence. And, even despite my own personal shock and misgivings,  I was privileged to be able to reassure her that God loved her no matter what she was inside and outside. Funny, really, that even there, the compassion of Jesus was overriding my religious ruleset. Even then, the Spirit was preparing me for later in life – i.e. now – where I now fully accept all people with all kinds of ‘differences’.  God’s love has overridden my prejudices; now I understand things much more.

(Epilogue: I haven’t seen Michaela since I moved from Yorkshire to Devon in 1995, but I heard from one of her colleagues (they are a company with a nationwide presence) that she went and had her ‘sex reassignment surgery’ – what was often called a ‘sex change operation’ – and is now a full woman. Fair enough, and I wish her well. In doing my research for this blog entry, I have found pictures of Michaela on the Internet and she still looks pretty much the same: still visibly identifiable facially as the former ‘Michael’, but looking well, happy and – yes – female).

I think the key to breaking through the awkwardness in these situations is simply to communicate. Talk to them! Rather than feeling threatened and confronting in a ‘you’re wrong’ style, talk in a ‘how do I relate to you?’ style. Get to know the person. And don’t, don’t judge them! That way you get the double win of addressing your discomfort and make them feel accepted as a person at the same time.

Also, do some research. Take a look at my previous post, The Call to Love, for more of my thoughts on LGBTQ things, and for links to helpful materials on Bible passages that appear to condemn homosexuality, for example, where in fact they do not.

For LGBTQ people reading this, please bear with us heterosexual people. Some of us have come from highly homophobic backgrounds, and it takes time for us to adjust to new concepts, especially when we have mistakenly believed that we are so right and you guys were so wrong. I’m over it now, but many are not. Again, communication is the key, I believe. And, if I come across as patronising, I’m sorry; I am Aspergic and the finer nuances of interpersonal communications usually escape me! The spirit in which I have written this article is one of love, reconciliation and goodness of heart, and I hope this comes across. I’m just saying what I think God wants me to say; ‘Doing what I see the Father doing’ – John 5:19

The Double Standard of Proof

To say something in their faith is ‘proven’, for Christians (or indeed for people of any faith), is a difficult thing. As a professional scientist, my concept of ‘proof’ is different from that of the ‘proof’ of faith-based things. As a Christian, I recognise that faith and science are two different toolkits, with two different standards of proof.

So long as the limitations of the Science and Faith toolkits are respected, this usually causes few problems in logical terms.

What I find frustrating, however, is when Christians say something is true, and then say ‘The Scientists think this too’ – it therefore becomes true. However, if the Scientists don’t think it’s true, then they (the scientists) are wrong. In other words, if the scientists agree with the Christians, they’re right, but if not, they’re wrong.

Quite what that standard of proof is called, I don’t know, but I think it rhymes with ‘bubble landard’.

A Christian needs to recognise that few things in his/her faith can be proven empirically, and this means that sometimes they will have to accept what they believe without hard evidence. This is fine, and is perfectly in keeping with the Faith toolkit.

Scientists, on the other hand – or indeed anyone who is used to dealing only in hard facts – need to recognise that there are some things which cannot be measured but which are nonetheless real. For example, emotion; everyone knows they exist because most people feel them, but you can’t measure, quantify or take a reading of them. Sure, a polygraph (lie detector) can detect the physiological responses of the person connected to it, but even this detects only the effects of the emotions, not the emotions themselves. Emotions are, at present anyway, out of the scope of the Science toolkit.

Christians need to stop dissing Scientists, and Scientists need to stop dissing Christians. Both sets of people are seekers after truth, just using different toolkits. It doesn’t mean that either party is wrong!

 

Book review by David Matthew – ‘Disarming Scripture’ by Derek Flood

David Matthew is a godly and scholarly man whose opinion I value highly. So when he reviews – and recommends – a book on Biblical interpretation with emphasis on the apparent dichotomy of God’s ‘nasty god’ character in the Old Testament, with the ‘nice God’ as revealed by Jesus Christ in the new Testament, then people like me sit up and take notice.

The review contains a brief precis of the salient points from the book. The review itself is well worth a read, and I must say I will most likely be getting a copy of the book too. [Edit: and I did, too 🙂 ] Click the picture below to go to the review.

disarming_scripture

More freedom! Feel the burden lift off your shoulders…..

Here’s an excellent article on freedom from heavy religious loads, like Jesus said in Matthew 11:28 (Message) – “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (MSG translation)


God’s Love for Us Takes Away Our Fear, Guilt, and Self-Condemnation

We begin life very self-centered; as infants we are totally dependent, so we are only interested in having our personal needs met. Only later do we recognize other individuals and begin to consider their needs.

However, our process of socialization is not smooth. Along the way are disappointments, conflicts, and misunderstandings; we are hurt by people in various ways so that we develop fears, defense mechanisms, and emotional scars. We exhibit unpleasant personality features that push other people away. To a lesser or greater extent, we find ourselves lonely and alienated.

We also come to realize that through our attitudes and behavior we hurt other people as well—whether we intend to or not, and knowing this usually causes feelings of guilt and self-condemnation. Even if we hurt people on purpose we know it is wrong because we don’t want people to do such things to us.

Pain. Fear. Alienation. Guilt. These are the feelings we carry.

Image credit: Guilt Crane by David Hayward–nakedpastor.com

Often the People of the Church Make Things Even Worse

Does this seem to describe you? Perhaps this is not your experience, but most of us can identify. Our ability to relate well to other people is often hampered by our continued self-centeredness along with our pain of being misunderstood, mistreated, and otherwise wounded—sometimes viciously.

Some church people make the situation worse. We are told that God is angry and disappointed with us and that he cannot bear to look at our sinfulness. We are worthless worms or like filthy rags. We are told further that there is nothing we can do to remedy the situation.

Even after we begin to follow Jesus, we are constantly told that we don’t measure up and that if we fail to live according to the standards we are in danger of losing everything and being punished in hell fire for eternity to satisfy God’s justice. We hear frequently how bad and worthless we are in the eyes of God.

All this judgment, condemnation, and shaming have an effect on us. After being demeaned, disdained, and demoralized by the people of the church and becoming convinced that neither they nor God really loves us for who we are, we sometimes find that we don’t love ourselves very much. Thinking that God is unhappy and disappointed with us affects our self-image and leads to our unhappiness and self-destructive behavior.

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Jesus Brings Us Good News about Us

If we have too often heard the message that we are not lovable and that even God is angry and disappointed in us, there is another who tells us a different story. Jesus shares with us that the Father is not angry and harsh with us (click to read), but loves us unconditionally.

This is Good News! When we are twisted with emotional scars, low self-esteem, and self-destruction, it is Very Good News to learn the Father loves us so much; it frees us from fear, guilt, and self-condemnation.

When other people do not find us lovable and we don’t even love ourselves adequately, we learn that the Father—the one who knows us best of all—disagrees. He loves us; and when we realize this we can begin to love ourselves more appropriately. Yes! We are imperfect. Yes! We need help to become better. But the Father accepts us just the way we are. Rather than despising and berating us for our shortcomings—no matter how severe they might be—the Father understands us, and he understands why we are as we are.

The Father perceives us far more clearly and accurately than the best trained counseling psychologist. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows our defensiveness, our personality traits, our motivations, and our true desires to be better than we find ourselves to be. And he wants to heal our alienation and our feelings of aloneness.

Loving Ourselves Properly Leads to the Ability to Love Others Properly

We are told that we should love others as we love ourselves, but if we do not love ourselves then we cannot truly and fully love other people. We might feel helpless, hopeless, and beaten down, but we become able to love ourselves when we see ourselves the way the Father sees us. And how does the Father see us? He sees us as individually valuable and lovable. He does not cast his eyes away from us in disgust but embraces us in love and kindness. He desires our happiness and reconciliation with him, ourselves, and other people. He wants the very best for each of us.

This is how the Father loves us; and when we see ourselves as he sees us we can begin to love ourselves. And once that happens, we can see other people the way the Father sees them and begin to love them as we now love ourselves. This is another process of reconciliation.

Then Why Do I still Feel Guilty?

Even after hearing this Good News, perhaps you still feel fearful and/or guilty. This is understandable because this post is only an announcement of the Good News; it is not an explanation. We will discuss that next time.


Here’s the link to the original article – or click the picture below – in case you want to follow on to the next article: