Category Archives: Insights

Crumbs of Wisdom

Here is another collection of wisdom quotes, along with some beautiful prose snippets, from various sources. Enjoy!


Of course, maybe it was […] pure chance. I find this unlikely, however. Chance is never pure.

– Iain M. Banks, Transition


The Heavenly scene is umbilically related to the earthly

– Tom Wright, Revelation for Everyone


[Nicodemus] “So you would place limits on the Almighty?”

[Shmuel] “None that are not written in Law”

“And so, if God did something that you felt contradicted Torah, would you tell Him to get back in that….box that you have carved for Him? Or, would you question the interpretation of the Torah?”

“When I was a student, I knew all of your sayings. I read every word you wrote. Your teachings were so sturdy; so reasoned, and pure”.

“We are still students, Shmuel! All of us! Our understanding will never be complete!”

“It frightens me that I can no longer predict your rulings….”

“And fear alone ensures we remain ignorant. Asleep in the safety of rigid tradition!”

– Nicodemus talking to the Pharisee, Shmuel, The Chosen S1 Ep.6


The thing that annoys me most is the hypocrisy and goalpost-moving of the God crowd. They beat people over the head with their Rulebook, and they themselves ignore the parts of it that don’t agree with their actions. A friend once told me that the Church is at the same time the best, and also the worst, witness for Christ that there is. I would agree with the second descriptor, not so much the first. It also makes me think that some of these people have been following, and indeed inventing, a counterfeit faith. This is what happens when the unclean put on the clothes of the righteous. Their outer apparel makes no difference; you can still smell what they really are..

– Me


I do wonder if the idea of the Holy Spirit ‘convicting’ a believer of ‘sin’ is a bit of a false concept. The idea comes from John 16:8, where Jesus says that the Spirit will convict the world of sin, judgment and righteousness. Note that He said the world – that is, in Christian (or, at least, Evangelical) thought, everyone who is not a Christian – but He didn’t mention the believer. So, does the Spirit actually convict a believer? I don’t believe He does. Sure, it’s common and generally-understood parlance in Christian circles to refer to being ‘convicted’ by the Holy Spirit, but I strongly suspect that the condemnation inflicted on believers by others, and indeed by the believers’ own consciences, have been conflated with this idea of the Spirit’s gentle promptings on things. There’s a huge difference between the gentle Voice of the Spirit and the voice of the accuser – whether that’s an actual ontological being or simply a person’s own conscience.

– Me


The Squadron Commander held forth with a pint tankard in his hand, the floor temporarily his: seniority did not necessarily obtain the attention of an assertive bunch of young men who did almost every week what the Light Brigade did once and once only.

– Richard Townshend Bickers, Panther Squadron – the quote takes place in a fighter pilots’ briefing room during WWII


Prayer is God’s way of empowering the powerless

– Me


Brake on … rev up … let her go and the exhilarating punch in the back, the surge down the runway with the needle on the air speed indicator moving rapidly around the dial. Lift off, wheels up … clonk-onk … the oppressive heat at once swept aside by the rush of wind past the open canopy. The familiar blizzard of impressions. The narcotic intensity of knowing that anything might happen before you put your wheels down safely on the ground again. The slow, rhythmical unfolding of the landscape as you climbed. The cumulative, incantatory power of the roaring engine a few feet in front of you. All the mesmeric, fascinating characteristics of flight, the freedom of the air.

– Richard Townshend Bickers, Panther Squadron


I went down to the crossroad and made a deal with a man that I liked very much. He told me that in exchange for my thin watery soul he would put me in a position where I could create the misery that I dread for myself. I could inflict that misery onto people who are the least of Jesus’ brothers and sisters. I would feel powerful and get money, neither of which I deserve. It was an offer I could not refuse. I wasn’t using that weak and pitiful soul anyway.

Thanks, Satan!!

– Blog post by ‘Jeff’, referring to a particularly soulless public servant in America. That’s all I’m saying.


Linked with that loss of joy, you [certain Christians of a serious and miserable persuasion] will likely also have lost your sense of humour, partially because you have to be selective about what you allow yourself to find as funny, and also because laughter needs some sort of joy to fuel it – and your joy tanks are dry.

– Me


If [a certain famous and powerful public figure] was any less self-aware, he wouldn’t be able to see his own reflection in the mirror

– Brian Taylor Cohen


Most church leadership is about getting people to do what God isn’t actually calling them to do.

– Me


Home is the place where, when you get there, they have to take you in

– Robin Frost


Despite these foul people (Yes, indeed, charlatans! These people are of the synagogue of Satan; those who claim to be [believers] though they are not… (Rev 3:9)) stealing and polluting the name of my faith, I will still call myself a Christian. This is my name; my birthright. I know who I am in Christ and these thieves are not taking from me the right to bear that Name. ‘Christian’ means ‘Little Christ’, and that’s what I am. And I always will be.

– Me, commenting on corrupt people who name themselves ‘Christians’ for political purposes.


Yes but your idea is greater than your self-doubt

– Anon


Doing ‘works of faith’ in the Kingdom of God is not about numbers; it’s about calling. Whereas the world’s emphasis is to be ‘seen to be doing’, the Kingdom’s emphasis is actually to not be seen doing anything

– Me


[In our group] there are no tricks, no half-measures, no false promises, no crossed fingers when it comes to our welcome, affirmation, and celebration of LGBTQ+ people. We affirm the LGBTQ community in all its variations, colors, identities, and expressions.

– The Faith Community https://thefaithcommunity.org/about


If the Bible is absolute authority, then it would not need people to tell us that it is. Because what happens then is that the authority you are believing is the person who tells you that the Bible is absolute authority. Therefore, if the Bible needs their authority to validate the Bible’s authority, then it is not the absolute authority, the person telling you is.

– Me


What if deconstruction is sometimes less about losing God and more about losing an image of God that was too small?

– James Pence


Solid doctrines don’t really have a place when God is constantly moving; concrete foundations are not very mobile.

– Me


Here’s [a truth] I know will unravel a whole web of lies: God is good and I am good with God.

– Debbie


[And] what butterfly ever benefitted from taking flying lessons from caterpillars? Not wanting to sound arrogant but they [people in most churches] have nothing to teach me. I can still learn from them, but not from what they teach – there is a subtle difference.

– Me


“More than 40,000 Protestant sects (e.g. INC, ADD, BAC, SDA, Mormon, JWs etc.) all believe that the Bible is the only and single truth of God, and yet they all contradict each other with that very same Bible.

“So how can a single truth written within that one Bible create thousands of different opposing and contradicting doctrines? Could it be that man personally interprets the Bible and create his own new ‘truths’?”

That is very much the case. For me, I rationalise it by thinking about how God meets each individual where they are at, and speaks to each individual in a way that they themselves need to hear Him. That same Bible can help with that. The problem comes when people try to apply what God has spoken to them, personally, to others as if one size fits all. Because it doesn’t!

– Anon


Autism is one reason why I love cooking so much. And working (well, now retired…) in a chemistry lab, which amounts to the same thing. Attention to detail, timings, ingredients, weights, methods…it’s all there and I love it. Plus, unlike in a chemistry lab, you get to eat the results!

– Me


A woman told me she found our church because she Googled “church that won’t make me feel like garbage.” I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Maybe both?

– Beau Stringer


[Hard-hearted] people, like the legalists in Matthew 12:22-32, miss out on what Jesus is doing because they are so convinced that they are more right than He is.

– Me


Faith doesn’t mean that we’re able to explain suffering. Faith means that we can survive it without losing hope.

– James Pence


“You are allowed to examine ideas. You are allowed to change your mind. You are allowed to believe differently—or not believe at all—without surrendering your integrity, principles, compassion, or capacity for goodness.”

— Lloyd Evans

The White Throne Judgment – Reblog

This entry is part 30 of 30 in the series The Problems of Evangelicalism

As my regular readers will be fully aware, I really detest the way in which fearmongering is used by vicious church leadership in order to keep their ‘flock’ in line. Fear of any kind has no place in a believer’s life. The most common phrase in the Bible[1] is ‘Do not be afraid. That has to mean something! But of course it is conveniently and deliberately forgotten by manipulative pastors using fear as a control tool. And in no place is the fear tool more used than in end-times and afterlife threats. You know, they threaten people with ‘hell’; with a ‘great tribulation’; being ‘Left Behind’ at the Rapture, and all that sort of thing.[2] Probably the most fear-filled aspect of these ideas, for most people including unbelievers as well as Christians, is the idea of the ‘Final Judgment’. This has, of course, been gleefully adopted by fear-mongering control-freak ‘christian’ leaders all around the world. The general impression I get (and I admit that I myself once loosely held!) is that every person’s life – especially, of course, featuring the bits you’d rather no-one else saw! – will be projected in full glory on some giant heavenly screen for everyone to see and judge you for, never mind God’s judgment on top of it! And so that’s the misconception I will be addressing in this post. Granted, it’s not entirely Evangelical theology that holds this stuff as a doctrine, but as part of Evangelicalism’s toolkit of abuse, it is of course widely used and abused to damage people. And that’s why this reblog is in the ‘Problems of Evangelicalism’ series. Here we go:


“I wish that it wasn’t called “The White Throne Judgement” the way it describes it. The way it’s been described.
“We each stand before God. Who weighs every thing we have done in life. And determines our reward.
“It sounds terrifying. To be before everyone. And have them see my life. To be on display.
“And the word judgement just seems so ominous.
“It makes me scared. Like nothing. No matter how hard I try here on earth. There will be nothing besides disappointment”.

The above is a quotation from a very worried Christian lady, writing it as a post in a Facebook group I am in. And this present piece is intended to encourage any who find themselves in a similar place with regards to worry about any future judgment[3]. There is a concept in some Christian circles called the ‘Great White Throne’ Judgment. It’s based on the passage in Revelation 20:11ff which says, “Then I saw a large white throne and the one who was seated on it; the earth and the heaven fled from his presence, and no place was found for them. And I saw the dead, the great and the small, standing before the throne. Then books were opened, and another book was opened—the book of life. So the dead were judged by what was written in the books, according to their deeds”. And it goes on to say that anyone whose name was not found in the Lamb’s Book of Life, etc. etc. will be thrown into the ‘lake of fire’. Or something. To give just one illustration of how many unfounded doctrines are based on this section of Scripture, let’s just consider this one point: that there are some who say that this judgment is only for unbelievers. Well, in its defence, the passage does not say this at all, nor do the following verses; quite the opposite in fact, if you study them correctly. So straight away we can see that the passage, and its modern interpretation, is not only very dangerous in terms of emotional health, but it also has the potential for massive misinterpretation by believers of all flavours. And I won’t even give them the benefit of the doubt and say they are ‘well-meaning’ believers, either, because usually their objective is to instill fear in their readers/listeners. Which, when we are dealing with a God of Love (1Jn4:8b), in Whom there is no darkness (1Jn1:5), and Whose perfect Love drives out fear, (1Jn4:18) has to be a non-starter. So.

Let’s just say that I noticed the cry of distress in my sister’s Facebook posting and, amongst other gentle-hearted believers, I too tried to add my version of comfort to the help she was being given.

Here was my first response: “I make light of the White Throne Judgment for two reasons: 1) It is an exaggeration made up by vicious people who want Christians to live in fear, extrapolated from a single, obscure verse (Rev 20:11ff) in the most obscure book of the Bible*, and 2) A great white throne is actually a toilet[4], so I really can’t take it seriously like, ever. *Regarding Revelation, I was made aware of this caveat by a friend on FB (whom I am still badgering for the original reference): ‘[The early church fathers, when considering whether to include the book of Revelation into the canon], decided NOT TO DO IT without the following strict conditions: 1) It was not to be used for any major doctrine or in any liturgy of the church; 2) It did not have the canonical authority of the other New Testament writings; and 3) It was never to be taken literally in any way, but only metaphorically, as an encouragement for Christians about to undergo major persecution and bloodshed’.[5] “Whether or not this information is apocryphal, I do think it is a reasonable way of interpreting any passage in Revelation, especially since it is obviously written in an Apocalyptic style which means it is essentially a cryptic message written for those who were originally to receive it. And they would have understood the cryptic meaning. For us, nearly 2,000 years later, any exegesis of the book must at least take that factor into account and, bringing us back to that original quote, our application of the book must be done with that in mind. Note that I am not suggesting, even for a microsecond, that Revelation should not be in the canon; far from it. But, to me, those three principles, supposedly given by the early Church Fathers, should be borne in mind. Especially since this is the only book in the canon where we find almost blasphemous caricatures of Jesus, and his purported horrific end-time activities, that do not fit even slightly with the rest of the New Testament’s accounts of Him”.


I also wrote this in a separate comment, after further pondering: “There is no Scripture that says that your entire life will be played back in IMAX quality for everyone to see. Fearmongering preachers have tried to twist Jesus’s words about ‘nothing shall remain hidden’ in order to scare people into thinking this…could I suggest that ‘by their fruits you shall know them’? If those thoughts are causing you worry and sadness and fear, then those thoughts are not from God? Therefore, the people who put them there were not speaking words from God. As a believing Christian for whom Jesus died and dealt with your ‘sin’, could it be that those sins have been removed forever, as far as the east is from the west, and that God shall ‘remember your sins no more’? Yes! That’s all true! Why should you live in fear, which perfect love casts out? Why let the curse laid on you all those years ago, by those fear-selling preachers, why let it dominate your life now? Walk free of it, sister. The part in Hebrews 12:1, where it refers to the ‘sin that so easily entangles’, well I believe that this passage is referring to the entanglement caused by the constant fretting and worrying about ‘sin’; ‘Did I do something wrong today?’ and so on[6]. You are allowed, nay, you are required to throw off that worrying about ‘sin’. Let not the sin-police take away your peace. Don’t listen to the accuser, who also wants to steal, kill and destroy: Steal your peace, kill your joy, and destroy your freedom. Don’t listen to him”.


And I think there is a lot more to be said, too, but I didn’t say it. Instead, let me finish by quoting another dear sister on that thread who was equally encouraging, but from a different angle:


“I am curious, what are you basing the idea that everyone would see all that [having the life on display].

I have pondered that moment a lot. But never put that angle on it. I tend to think we cannot fully project what that will be. I usually project it as me before God, & it’s my mind/soul that is enlightened, & sees myself fully as God always has. A major paradigm shift that is not possible here in this life.
 
If I do ponder other souls present in heaven I recall that they will also have been changed by seeing themselves & by extension others as God sees them. None of us will have our limited prejudices we do now. I think humility would be the overriding attitude of all in the Kingdom of Heaven. Pride, & our limited knowledge really does prejudice & limit everyone’s thinking & perspectives here. That won’t be an issue there. Whatever people do see & know would be tempered by seeing themselves & their own life in God’s view.
I my life experience the more clearly I see myself in truth that helps me be more empathetic with others shortcomings.
 
But again I have my doubts others would be so privy to our own judgment before God. I would rather not know all that about everyone. I just have a hard time believing that shame or guilt lasts long in the presence of God. It would be quickly consumed leaving redemption & love in its place. I do want to build up unconditional love, goodness, all the fruit of the Spirit in myself because I think that is what survives before the all consuming presence of God. I pretty much know I will not perfect that in this life.
 
So many people for centuries have tried to control others by using guilt & shame to attempt to control behavior. I see that as a failing in the Church. It is a failing that many of the best theologians have discussed throughout time. Some Prophets & Rabbis even before Christ had a glimpse of this truth.
 
I believe there has been this “Continuing Grace of the Gospel of Jesus Christ” in play since he was physically here. There is always this controlling element out there pushing to bring condemnation back onto us. Then there is another element that pushes us to grow past that attitude & live with God in full control in our hearts. That pushes for more freedom of the believer. It goes back & forth, but for instance look at how much & how incredibly brutal the Ancient World was in the use of capital punishment. Not just death but torturous death on the idea of setting fear of punishment onto people.
 
Statistically today we have hard data that corporal punishment is not an effective deterrent. Reform, treatment for mental & behavioral health & retraining has a stronger effect, but there is no perfect system certainly not yet.
 
I think shame & laying guilt into others is highly ineffective as it never deals with the cause. But we are surrounded by control freaks who believe heavily in it. True guilt when we have it, tends to motivate us to change. We might struggle with that in the process. Shame always gets in the way of real growth & repentance. God is more interested in true guilt. Evil wants us mired in shame & feeling incapable of change. This is not direct onto the specific topic of our judgement. But this issue of shame versus true clear guilt plays into how we tend to see that Judgement.
 
People put shame onto us for being different, for things they perceive as flaws, but every flaw has a flip side that is a strength to it that needs redirected. Often people shame us for things that are not a flaw at all. It’s just something they are ignorant about as a rule.
 
My goal for 3 decades now has been to throw off shame & false guilt laid on me by other people. I have found many aspects of myself that either need treatment or support, but with treatment & support have strength that has always been there. But for a good portion of my life I felt shame about my strengths because they were different than the expected norms. That is not my fault. That is societies ignorance in play. If people persist in ignorance once something like the autism spectrum is concerned they are in the wrong.
 
I am still intimidated at the idea of standing before an all-knowing God. But my confidence in how he loves me, made me with strengths & even delights in me at times has been mostly growing deeper & stronger.
 
I do go through tough times that really test that a lot. But often come out understanding God’s perspective better & his perspective is just a relief once I grasp it than what I projected it to be. I think wherever I am at the moment in that process the judgement will be more of a stripping away of things that have weighed me down, & a healing. More like a diagnosis & treatment for my soul.”
 

Wow. Well, that’s a lot to think about and take on board, so I’ll leave it there. But I sincerely hope that this piece has encouraged you, especially if you were in any way in fear of judgment. There is no room for fear in the Gospel; none at all. Walk free of it!

Grace and Peace to you

Footnotes

Footnotes
1 After the word ‘begat’, anyway!
2 I actually enjoyed reading the ‘Left Behind’ series of books, if I’m honest, although I didn’t believe it one bit! And there are passages (I won’t spoil it!) which are ludicrous in the extreme…some of which in fact permanently changed my opinion of Rapture and parousia (Second Coming) theology away from the standard Evangelical norm, if indeed there is such a thing; so many different end-time theories being held all across Christianity as they are!
3 I believe that the ‘Judgment of God’ that the Bible speaks of is actually a Heavenly judgment of restoration and relationship, not one of wrath and punishment.
4 Hence, my use of a toilet for the header image for this post. Well, I think it’s funny, at least 😉
5 I have quoted this before, in my article ‘Apocalypse
6 I once preached a sermon on this very topic; the reference is here

Dear White Evangelical Church: This is Why You’re Dying

This entry is part 29 of 30 in the series The Problems of Evangelicalism

Here is a profound essay by the brilliant John Pavlovitz, which mirrors closely what I have been saying recently in my work over the last year or so. It especially reflects some of the thinking and the points I made in my recent piece, ‘I Was a Stranger‘.

While some of John’s points are more related to the Evangelical church in the USA – for example, he mentions a President, and we don’t have any of those over on this side of the pond! – still it is worth sharing in its entirety because a) people all over the world will read this, and b) the UK Evangelical church has always had political intentions[1] and I can easily predict that UK Evangelicalism will copy its USA relatives – they always copy others – and I can already see signs of this happening.

I have not shared this with the intention of it being a political piece, except in that it indirectly highlights[2] my assertion that the Kingdom of God is not of this world and that Christians can live above and beyond the considerations of mere worldly power. I wrote about that point of view in the essay linked to here. As I have said in previous essays, I do not discuss politics on this blog. At the same time, however, I did not want to detract from the power of John’s words by breaking his flow or his logic processes. He’s a passionate man with a passionate message, and he deserves to have it published unabridged. Some of what John writes about is indeed leaking over into politics, and that’s unsurprising because the thinking of a righteous person who has the mind of Christ (1Cor2:16) will naturally rail against the systems of the world that lack righteousness[3].

Over to John:



Dear
Whi
te Evangelical Church,
I have some good news and some bad news.
The bad news is you’re dying.

If you’re paying attention, you’ve probably noticed the symptoms.

Your buildings are slowly clearing, your pews gradually emptying, your congregations visibly aging away, your voice carrying less resonance than it used to.

The reasons for this are complicated and interconnected, but here are a few broad strokes:

You’re dying because of your hypocrisy.

People see the ever-widening chasm between who you say you are and what they regularly experience in your presence.
They see the great disparity between the expansive hospitality of Jesus and the narrow prejudice you are so often marked by.
They see Christ’s deep affection for the poor, hurting, and marginalized, and either your quiet indifference or your open hostility toward them.
They’ve listened to you preach incessantly about the immorality of the world, the dangers of greed, the corrupt nature of power, the poison of untruth, the evils of sexual perversion—and watched you willingly align with politicians embodying all of these.
They see that you are so often the very kind of malevolent ugliness that you forever warned was coming to assail the world.

You’re dying because of your wilful ignorance.

People are tired of your war on Science.
They are sick of your arguing with Biology.
They are exhausted by your attacks on women.
They are disgusted by your justifications of racism.
They despise your narcissistic nationalism.
They know the Earth is round.
They know it is billions, not thousands of years old.
They know dinosaurs walked it.
They know that it is warming rapidly.
They know people here don’t choose their sexuality or deserve their poverty.
They know whoever and whatever God doesn’t appoint Presidents or hand out weapons or attack people with tornadoes.

You’re dying because of your devotion to cruelty.

People watch you dig in your heels against others because of their gender identity and their sexual orientation; the way you continually exact violence upon them, the way you try to blame God and the Bible for your mindless bigotry.
They’ve seen your intolerance to other religious traditions: how you vilify anyone who finds spirituality and meaning outside of your precise expression of Christianity, how you so easily disregard the faith stories of those who don’t mirror your own.
They’ve watched you so revel in being the bully to those you were originally called to protect.

You’re dying because of your complicity in violence.

Good people have seen you so often be a haven for misogynists, domestic abusers, sexual predators, and white supremacists, who more often receive protection rather than condemnation.
They’ve heard your explicit silence in the face of a brutal and rising flood of open racism, of hostility toward immigrants, of anti-Semitism, of attacks on Asian people and Muslims.
They see your pastors and leaders misuse their positions and leverage their influence to victimize the most vulnerable and make them scapegoats for discrimination.
They’ve watched you be the last, hateful holdout in matters of gender equality, racial diversity, sexuality, and theological difference; lagging behind almost everyone in the world in the kind of goodness you say you aspire to.

It’s easy to be fooled into believing you’re well because you have the political power of a presidency behind you, because you can temporarily impose your will on this nation. But this frantic flurry of cruelty is actually the death rattle of a doomed and dying thing. The empty bombast and blinding lights of your megachurches are a hollow rally that may momentarily anesthetize you, but they cannot stave off what is coming.

Yes, Evangelical Church, the bad news is that you’re slowly but surely expiring as you are now.

The good news is that in your passing, something else is being born.

Rising in these days is a sprawling movement of disparate people, not bound by denomination or tradition or nation, who want to create something redemptive and life-giving here, who don’t care what it’s called, who gets the credit, or what building it happens in.

Its makers are conscientious objectors in your unending holy wars, choosing to step away from you in order to create loving spiritual communities, grow deeper in personal faith, escape tribal partisan politics, craft a healthier planet, reflect the character of Jesus, and hold onto their souls.

These newly emancipated sojourners are creating something of compassion and generosity and hospitality; a radically inclusive faith that opens the table, a spirituality that welcomes the world, a religion that does no harm: a working theology of love. These open-hearted human beings are unearthing the beauty buried beneath heavy layers of rigid dogma, ornamental religion, and institutionalized discrimination.

The soul is leaving a body that no longer serves it, and you are that body.

The bad news for you, White Evangelical Church, is that you are certainly dying.

And it’s very good news for the rest of us and for a Jesus you have long ago murdered in your midst.


Here’s the link to the original piece.

Footnotes

Footnotes
1 They want to influence society
2 For those who have the eyes to see it, and the ears to hear it, anyway!
3 This is very different from how Evangelicalism want to influence society; their ultimate political aim (although some of them won’t realise this) is at its end a society which is a theocracy; a society run by nutcase Evangelical leaders who believe they’re doing god’s will (and ruling on his behalf!) by imposing their version of ‘god’s’ rules and laws onto its citizens. This would be a completely evil outcome.

A Dark Testimony VII – The ‘Bad Apple’ Vicars

This entry is part 28 of 30 in the series The Problems of Evangelicalism
A story of deliberately dishonest leadership in the Church of England

My last church was a Church of England (CofE) church, and I never had any major problems there.

However, my friend’s experience in ‘their’ CofE church was very different. They have written up their story for inclusion in my blog as a ‘guest post’, and I thank them for both their efforts and their courage in doing so. And they want to remain anonymous – fine by me! – and I am honoured to present my friend’s story below.

I’m not going to comment on the story[1].  I don’t think I’ll need to.

Right, that’s all from me; over to my friend:


My experience at the hands of a charismatic evangelical Anglican church, and its leadership.

I should preface this by saying that I am autistic – and although I have only known this for a couple of years, that isn’t to say that I have only been autistic for a couple of years; autism is a life-long condition. In common with many (or probably most) autistics, I was horribly bullied at school – simply because I was ‘different’ (in ways I shan’t waste time explaining here and now – the differences are, at most, only peripherally relevant to this tale). Those who were, in effect, ‘in loco parentis’ during the school day signally failed (with a few notable exceptions) to discharge their duty of care towards me; indeed, a few colluded and even, on occasion, joined in. My own mother decided, with no evidence whatsoever, that the reason I was bullied was that I wasn’t tough enough. So she decided that she would toughen me up. YAY!! Great stuff, I was bullied at home as well as at school. It should come as no surprise that I finished my school career pretty badly damaged, and with a complete distrust of authority figures.

During my last year of school, I ‘gave my life to Christ’ and became an evangelical Christian, thanks to a person who became a dear, dear, friend. I absolutely don’t hold her responsible, in any way, for the things which I shall describe below – she has never been anything other than a true ‘Follower of the Way’ (of Jesus Christ), and always loved me unconditionally, as who I was, rather than as a ‘project’ or someone who needed to be ‘fixed’.

Even so, it took me more than thirty years to learn to trust anyone enough to share the secrets of my abused past. That I did, eventually, ‘get there’ was down to the patience and care of very good (church) friends, who were consistent and ever-faithful in their love.

So that’s a bit of background, which may serve to illustrate why what I describe below was so devastating – when it may seem quite trivial if read without the above caveat.

Several years ago, the Anglican church I belonged to at the time ran the ‘Living in Love and Faith’ course, alongside most of the rest of the Church of England. It was billed as a conversation around the topic of whether or not LGBTQIA+[2] people could fully belong to the church, and receive all the sacraments (including marriage). Cutting a long story short, our particular course started out as a conversation, but once the leadership discovered that most people on the course disagreed with their ‘conservative’ (reactionary?) stance on the topic, and were far more ‘liberal’ and ‘inclusive’ than the leadership wanted them to be, it began to be turned into some very heavy, uncompromising, and essentially ‘tone deaf’ teaching (I’m not sure teaching is the right word to use – hectoring might better suit what happened). Things were done, during the official sessions, to try to ‘colour’ the result – in direct contravention of the ‘rules’ under which the course was meant to be run.

The course culminated in an extra session which the vicar tacked on to the end of the course, ostensibly so that we could ‘discuss’ where ‘our’ church was going to land on this particular topic. When we all arrived, we were surprised to find that the doors (two sets of double doors) had been wedged open (which was definitely not how they’d been on any other evening). The first thing the vicar told us was that the doors were open because if any of us disagreed with anything he said it would make it easy for us to leave – ‘other churches are available’ being his exact words, reeling off a list of churches he thought might suit us better.

He then proceeded to harangue us with his interpretation of the situation – riding roughshod over the careful groundwork the course had laid, starting by expounding the Church of England’s definition of marriage, and carrying on to tell us exactly what the (English) Bible has to say about homosexuality (and telling us to ignore anyone who cast any doubt upon the correctness of the English version he’d chosen). Faces across the room became gradually stonier – from ordinary folk through to eminent theologians who work at the university. Eventually, he wound up.

The curate completely misread the room, and launched into a fulsome vote of thanks. There was a little desultory applause – from probably a fifth of the room; and a lot of upset and very angry faces. I had, over the course of several years, worked hard to learn Ancient Greek, so as to be able to understand the scriptures in one of their original languages; I’d also made a particular study of the verses of scripture which (so-called) theological conservatives used to deny membership of God’s kingdom to those who were LGBTQIA+. I had become convinced that actually, there was nothing in scripture which could possibly preclude their being full members of the church – indeed, if they couldn’t be members, then neither could anyone else! Being told I was wrong, so vociferously, by someone who I knew was only parroting what he’d been taught, hurt. It was easy to understand the naked anger of the academic theologians in the room, whose hard-won professional opinions had been dismissed over the course of a few minutes by sheer ignorance.

Afterwards, over the next days and weeks there was a steady queue of people making appointments to see him, to tell him why they thought he was wrong, and also to protest at the way he had treated us; that queue included me. When it came my turn, he flatly denied having wedged the doors open, or that he’d suggested any of us leave, or that he had harangued us with his interpretation. He suggested that I had misremembered not only the tone but that facts of what had happened and what he’d said. So passionate and definite was he that I began to doubt my memory of the event.

I met one of the theologians the next day for our regular fortnightly coffee date, and he asked how it had gone. I told him, and he assured me that my memory of the events was well-nigh perfect – and that what the vicar had tried to do to me was classic gaslighting.

Bear in mind here that the first ‘authority figure’ I ever really trusted was a clergyman (it took decades before I shared any details of the abuse I was subjected to as a child with anyone, let alone anyone in authority), and you might get an inkling of the sheer devastation caused by the revelation that I’d been gaslit by my vicar – a man I’d worked alongside closely (as one of his churchwardens) for six years and had learned to trust.

That vicar left, not long after – ‘shuffled sideways’ by the bishop into a role which kept him away from public ministry – the volume of complaints about him had proved too much for even the ‘tone deaf’ functionaries at the diocese.

His replacement was said to be a very ‘pastoral-minded’ man (which was what we all felt the church needed after the earlier debacle). All seemed well, for a few months, and once I felt I might be able to trust him, I made an appointment and told him about my previous experiences. He listened, expressed sympathy, and assured me that he was open-minded and that he wouldn’t hold any of my ‘less conventional’ views against me – in fact he was rethinking a lot of stuff himself, having a sister who had recently ‘come out’. So that all seemed fine.

We run a group for a bunch of students – they come round every Wednesday during term times (and those who’re here year round come every week whether it’s term-time or not); we feed them, listen to their woes, and hold open-ended, open-minded, theological discussions in which ‘anything goes’; it’s all run on ‘Las Vegas Rules’ – i.e. what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas; to our pretty certain knowledge, everyone has always respected those rules.

The vicar sent a message to tell us that he needed to see us urgently. When we met, he revealed that ‘one of the students’ had complained that we were teaching them heresy during the discussions. He wouldn’t tell us who’d complained nor exactly what they’d actually complained about, but that we had to stop doing it, or he’d stop us running the group (how the heck were we meant to stop doing something when he wouldn’t tell us what the something was?). We would meet again to review it in a couple of weeks when we’d had time to repent and rethink what we’d been doing – oh, and from then on we’d have to follow strictly a programme of discipleship he would set…

Because, after all, he was responsible for what was taught in his church and he would have to stand before God on Judgement Day and explain why he’d allowed heresy to be taught in his church. (And this is one reason amongst many why I don’t agree with the idea of an ordained priesthood. Maybe I’ll talk more about that another time!)

We were hurt and confused. We tried really hard, over the following weeks, to work out what the complaint might have been, and who might have made it – so as to at least try to meet his demands. Our conclusion was that, in the absence of any evidence, and knowing ‘our’ students as well as we do, actually, he was making it up, for reasons best known to himself!!

When the time came for the second meeting with him, we insisted on there being an independent witness present; we’ve known one of the current churchwardens for four decades or so, and trust her; happily she agreed to be present. In the face of this ‘witness’, his tune changed and he ‘backed down’ almost entirely from his previous stance – he didn’t go as far as admitting that there hadn’t been a complaint, but he might as well have done.

But I can’t trust him any more… Despite his best efforts to be friendly and ‘open’, I’m not playing his game… I’m keeping my distance, and not falling for his ‘niceness’ – I know it’s an act – all he’s interested in is having power over others, and in building his pathetic little empire of sycophants. I remain unsure of where I stand, and not a little hurt. I’ve more or less stopped attending – unless someone we know is being baptised, or something like that. We’re still running a group for students – but almost entirely independent of the church’s scrutiny; recruitment isn’t a problem – ‘our’ students bring more students, who become ‘our’ students in turn.

A short time later, that same clergyman also ‘received’ (or so he said) an allegation of ‘inappropriate sexual behaviour’ against someone who, as a student, had been part of our group, and had stayed in the area and become a close friend. He was henceforth banned from all ‘ministry’ (even from serving on the tech team, presumably in case he ‘corrupted’ anyone by the way he changed the words on the projection screens or something). We know our friend; we knew, right from the very first moment, that this accusation had to be false. The situation got really messy, until, eventually, in the face of opposition from our friend and his fiancée, and with us acting as ‘chaperones’ at a meeting, the vicar again backed down.

The very next day, he revealed that ‘the diocese’ had now determined that the allegation was false and there was no case to answer (and no, none of us were allowed to know who’d made the allegation, what it was, what evidence there was, and nor were we ever party to the supposed ‘report’ from the diocese). Nevertheless, our friend would not be allowed to rejoin any church ministries until he had receiving counselling (from the vicar), to educate him on what constitutes ‘appropriate behaviour’. Our friend has since left the church, and wants nothing whatsoever to do with it – and I absolutely support him in that.

Personally, I think it all points to yet another ‘fantasy’ on the part of the vicar, and I don’t suppose he ever reported it to the diocese… He just wanted to exercise control over someone… And who cares whether he hurt them, destroyed their trust, or anything – so long as he had his pathetic little power trip. And I wonder – was the second incident a further attempt to ‘get at’ us, via our friend?

At this point, personally, I have decided to adopt an old saying as my ‘motto’ for dealing with clergy: ‘fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me’.  It’s not happening again – I’ve lost all trust in them.

Fuck the lot of them.

I hurt because the trust in authority which I’d ‘learnt’ over so many decades in the church has gone; I’m angry that clergymen of all people have been the ones to betray my trust; I’m grieving because I’ve effectively lost the family I’ve been part of for over forty years; I’m lost – I don’t know where I belong any more, if I belong anywhere. And all because of the ‘power trips’ of two ‘little Hitlers’.

I’m still passionate about Jesus Christ, and I still count myself as a (rather flawed) ‘Follower of the Way’ (to use the ancient phrase), but I think I would consider being called a Christian insulting, if that’s really what christians are like.


Header image shows a suitably dark picture of York Minster, one of the Church of England’s cathedrals.

Footnotes

Footnotes
1 Except just a single, general, observation regarding my main and ongoing reason for including this essay in my blog series: This kind of disgusting behaviour in churches is exactly why I began this series, and exactly why I will continue to share stories of people doing dreadful things to innocent people, in the very place where, more than anywhere else, individuals should be cared for, honoured, nurtured and above all loved. There is no excuse. These stories need to be put out there!
2 The ‘LGBTQIA+’ acronym means ‘Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer (or questioning), Intersex, Asexual’, and the plus sign refers to other sexualities that are not specifically mentioned in the acronym.

Changing Their Tune

How Evangelical Christians move the goalposts.

Some Christians, including most Evangelicals, move the goalposts in regards to what they claim the Bible says about, well, anything really, when evidence is presented that refutes one of their tenets they hold fast to[1]. That is, at least, if they actually believe the evidence –  many people simply ignore it because they don’t like it. A common human failing, in fact.

It’s not that they don’t believe something; it’s more that they say ‘Well, that’s not what we meant!’ or ‘We’ve never believed that!’, rather than just admitting they were wrong. Again, a common human failing.

A great example is this.

Many Christian preachers used to say (and indeed some still do) that ‘Jesus spoke more about Hell than He did about Heaven’.

When people found that a simple concordance search reveals this to be a lie[2], they changed their tune, and claimed that ‘Jesus spoke more about Hell than He did about any other subject’.

When this too was shown to be false[3] – and also incompatible with the previous assertion since if He spoke more about Hell than any other subject, then that would include Heaven, and we have already shown that to be false – they changed it yet again, to ‘Jesus spoke more about Hell than anyone else in the Bible’.

That too is almost right, except that in the passages where they think of Jesus as speaking about Hell, He wasn’t speaking of Hell in the way we understand it today. In the one instance where it was actually there, it was being used as an illustration – the Rich Man and Lazarus story – and even that does not fit with modern Evangelical doctrine on just about any level.

But the point is that they change their tune. They move the goalposts. And the really irritating thing about all this is that those who listened to, believed and proclaimed the earlier claims have now completely forgotten about them. They went on to the next claim without a second’s thought. And so on down the line. For more on the ‘Jesus spoke more about Heaven than He did about Hell’ thing, check out my earlier blog post here.

Another funny one is where they say the Bible is inerrant, infallible, perfect and yada yada yada[4]. Then, when they are challenged about the many different translations and how they say different things in some places[5], they’ll say that the Bible is perfect in its original manuscripts.

Which means that:

1) Since no surviving original manuscripts have yet been discovered, we have no way of knowing what was actually in them; and

2) Since any translation of the Bible is neither the original manuscript, nor of course translated directly from an original manuscript (because none exist), then it follows that no Bible – modern or older – is completely perfect, inspired, infallible or any of the rest of it; therefore

3) The authority of the Bible cannot be held to be complete in its absolute sense, because such a concept is based on a premise that does not exist (there are no original manuscripts) and also because by them claiming that only the original manuscripts are perfect, then it follows that other manuscripts are not perfect;

4) Many believers also don’t know that in the passage in 2Pet3:16, Peter refers to St. Paul’s writings as ‘scriptures’, even though they hadn’t been widely published yet, and were certainly not part of any recognised canon. The Greek word translated as ‘Scriptures’ in that verse is the word γραφας (graphas) or ‘writings’, as it is in 2Tim3:16, and the word ‘writings’ is translated usually as ‘Scriptures’ – which is an inferred translation influenced by the translator’s personal leanings. So in that way, we can surmise that even back in Peter’s time, the ‘writings’ were seen as inspired and sacred, but not necessarily Scripture as such. The only Scriptures they really had back then were the Hebrew Scriptures, roughly what we would nowadays call the Old Testament;

5) Another logical flaw in this is one that I have stated in other places, which is that if it takes someone to tell us that the Bible is the absolute authority, then this is self-contradictory because we are relying on the authority of the person/organisation telling us that the Bible is the ultimate authority. In this way, their vouching for the Bible simply means that they themselves become the higher authority. Ultimate, supreme authority does not need anyone to vouch for it; we should not have to be told[6]

6) Saying that the Bible is perfect and holds ultimate, supreme and absolute authority means that it is placed above God, Who alone is really the One with supreme, sovereign power and authority. This is in direct violation of the first of the Ten Commandments: You will have no other Gods before Me (Ex 20:3 and Deut 5:6), because the Bible is placed before God in order of authority.

So, in those ways, the Bible is not perfect. And it’s the reason why a) Jesus Himself contradicted Scripture (e.g. Mt 5:43) and b) Jesus sent the Holy Spirit in order to lead us into all truth (Jn 16:13). Only when He explains a given Scripture passage does it become ‘infallible’, which is fine because then it’s God Who is doing the teaching, yes using the Bible as a ‘tool’ or ‘channel’ for that teaching, but it’s Him Who does it.

Anyway I just thought I’d point out that ‘moving the goalposts’; thing.

Can’t let them get away with it, even if only because it needs to be reiterated that it’s about time Christians started using their brains!

Grace and Peace to you all!

Footnotes

Footnotes
1 Modifying what one believes, in response to evidence or experience, is actually a virtue. But in the way I’m describing and explaining it here, it’s not a virtue by any means!
2 I was going to soften that and simply say it’s ‘untrue’ or ‘incorrect’, but the fact is that many preachers still deliberately claim that it’s fact despite knowing it’s not true. And so it’s a lie.
3 And indeed only believable by people who do not know the New Testament
4 I actually found a church website the other day where the Bible was the first thing they mentioned in their Statement of Faith. Not God, Jesus or any of the, you know, like really God things that should be mentioned first, but the Bible. Yawn 🤣 .
5 The oldest manuscripts available also contradict each other in places; they never tell you that in church…
6 Some might argue that we need to be told, by others, about authority. For example, the police, or the Government, are authority, and we have to tell each other that, but that does not make us a higher authority than the Government. But that’s fine; they can speak for themselves, plus it is stated in national law that they are the authority, and in essence they have placed themselves – or in a democracy, we have placed them there – and so it’s self-evident. This is not the same as an inanimate book. It cannot speak for itself, even in 2Tim3:16, where the Biblical claim of authority (misinterpreted verse in my view!) is set up by believers as claiming authority using a circular argument.

A Dark Testimony VI – Christy’s Story

This entry is part 27 of 30 in the series The Problems of Evangelicalism
Trigger Warning – Contains stories of severe spiritual and religious abuse and trauma. You have been warned!

Here is a heart-rending testimony from my dear friend, Christy Lynne Wood; a lady whom I have never met in person but nevertheless I count as a friend because we support each other’s online ministries remotely.

Christy came from a background in the ‘Institute in Basic Life Principles‘ (IBLP) group, which I would name as a cult in just about every way[1] and founded by Bill Gothard in 1961. (That’s before I was born!) In common with many other Christians with whom I have had positive online interactions over the last decade or so, Christy is therefore a cult survivor. She has had the courage to identify and name the problem, and to do something about it. And now, she blogs about her wisdom and experiences. My heart always rejoices when I see a notification in my inbox telling me that she has published another blog post!

Christy’s post contains things that parallel closely many of the previous ‘Dark Testimony’ articles in my series ‘The Problems of Evangelicalism‘, and so I have now included it in that series. Although not strictly-speaking an Evangelical church, some of the IBLP group’s teachings have been gradually and insidiously introduced into modern Evangelicalism – such is the cross-pollinating nature of religion, even across different denominations – and so their attitudes have also been incorporated into Evangelicalism, including Christy’s old church, where IBLP principles were held by most of the families in the congregation[2]. That’s another reason why this is relevant to the series. In common with all Evangelical or pseudo-Evangelical groups, these are the sorts of things they don’t want you to know about. And that’s the biggest reason of all why they should be shared in public!

Anyway, Christy is herself an experienced teacher and an excellent writer who clearly and indeed prophetically expresses what is on her heart. Other than this short introduction, I need add no more to what Christy has to say. I’m sure you’ll find her story helpful.

Over to Christy:


Seven Years Ago Our Bubble World Shattered

Yet another story of spiritual abuse and religious trauma in the church

Telling My Story

Seven years ago, on March 9th 2017, our little Christian bubble world finally splintered into pieces. But we were forced to pretend everything was fine for two more months.

This is the first time I’ve purposefully and clearly written about this part of my story. I’ve hinted at it, skittered around it, and gave vague suggestions, but today I’m telling the truth. It’s a weird combination of re-traumatizing and validating.

I’ve had seven years to process, seven years to learn I’m not alone, and seven years to try and pick up the pieces so that I can heal. It’s not just my story though, it’s also my husband’s story and he has dealt with it differently.

So today this is for all of you who have faced spiritual abuse and religious trauma and been able to heal and grow, but it’s also for those of you who haven’t. It’s for those who’s faith has been shattered, who’s trust has been destroyed, and who struggle to step foot into a church. I want you to know that I see you and feel immense compassion for your pain. We all experience trauma differently and there is no “right way” to move forward (despite what the Christianese phrases tell you).

I met my husband at a Christian summer camp. We worked together at camp for a couple of years, so going into Christian ministry of some sort seemed like the thing to do. We were young, idealistic, and passionate about serving God. Four weeks after getting married, we loaded up a moving truck and our junky, little Honda Accord and took off for the state of Wyoming.

The town of LaGrange doubled in size for nine months of the year while the students were in town. In the summer it went back to the original 322 residents plus a few married couples like us. We spent three years in the Wyoming prairie surrounded by more cattle than people while studying at Frontier School of the Bible.

Having met at camp, we originally had dreams of doing camp ministry. Then my husband landed a part-time youth pastor job at a “local” church forty-five minutes away. We did everything as a team back then so youth pastoring a bunch of junior high kids was fun too, especially since the church ran a rustic camp for three weeks each summer.

After graduation, we came back to Michigan and started an internship at the camp where we first met hoping to eventually come on as full-time staff. Three summers and two babies later, we realized—much to our disappointment—that there was no potential for a job there. However, the church we’d been attending for the last couple of years needed a youth pastor. It seemed like the perfect open door, so we walked through.

Full-Time Ministry

Within the first few months there were red flags. But we were young, idealistic, and filled with the belief that this was God’s plan. It didn’t hurt that we’d just been used and abused at the camp where we interned, so the church felt healthier to us. It was easy to make excuses. Maybe we were just misinterpreting things. The senior pastor was probably just trying to make jokes and didn’t mean the hurtful things he said about my husband from the pulpit.

Sometime within our first year at the church, the senior pastor took a much anticipated three month sabbatical. I think he expected the church to fall apart without him around. Instead it thrived. My husband was relational, organized, and passionate. He never meant to try and usurp anything, but there was tension when the senior pastor came back that simmered under the surface for the next four years.

We saw flaws pretty quickly at the church, but we hoped that God would use us to help heal them. We knew that no place was perfect and we were willing to ignore or make excuses to keep the peace. Sadly, I’m much more realistic and skeptical these days.

man in black pants and pair of brown leather lace-up shoes sitting on brown carpeted stairs inside room
Photo by Ben White

There was tension between my husband and our senior pastor within the first year of working together. My husband believes that everything should be done with excellence. He is not afraid to push back when he feels things are unethical or wrong which earned him the nickname of “Pastor Picky.” The senior pastor had been in charge for enough time to want to keep power in his own fist. He didn’t appreciate criticism of any kind and had surrounded himself with elders who were either “yes-men” or solidly on his side. I didn’t know it at the time, but this is a pattern for abuse within the church.

It was never a healthy situation. My husband always struggled. But we loved the people at the church. The youth group was growing. It looked successful on the outside. I think we also like the title of being in ministry. It was part of our identity.

It All Started at Camp

I decided to back to camp for a couple of summers as a health officer. I should never have gone back. I knew how we’d been treated during our internship. I swore when we left that I was done. But I loved camp.

I’d found freedom in Jesus there. I’d met my husband there, my babies had been born there, and my dad was currently working on staff as the maintenance manager.

So I loaded up my two small children and we spent two summers riding around on a golf cart, doing clean cabin checks, handing out meds and Band-Aids, and comforting homesick campers. My husband worked at church during the day and then came and spent the evenings with us. Parts of those summers were amazingly fun! I’d always dreamed of being the health officer. I had a golf cart. My children thrived. I loved supporting the young adults on staff. But there were dark clouds too, especially the second summer.

I should have handled everything differently. But I was not the same person back then. I was still stuffing my leadership gift and passionately avoiding conflict. I was still trying to be sweet and not strong.

I should have confronted the abuse I witnessed. I should have boldly stood up for the broken people. I should have challenged the unethical behavior and the potential affair. But I didn’t. Instead I talked to other people who also noticed. We tried to figure out what to do together. And because we noticed a problem, we became the problem. I was labeled a gossip while the true problems were ignored.

I should have quit half-way through the summer. But I didn’t.

People who were involved in the mess at camp were also from our church, so the summer trouble followed us back. Big time.

And Followed Us Back to Church

I was distraught about what I’d witnessed at camp and also about the abuse my dad had experienced. (Little did I know that the exact same things would happen to us.) Seeing that I was a wreck, our senior pastor offered to counsel me. I use that word in the loosest possible way. For six weeks I sat in his office and spilled everything to him. He took what I said, tried to gaslight me, and then instead of protecting me, told everything to the other person who was at camp with me. I’ve never had an enemy before, but I did after that summer.

We tried—my husband and I. I knew that I hadn’t handled everything perfectly. I’d made mistakes, and I tried to reconcile. But it went from bad to worse. I was still reeling from the spiritual and emotional abuse I’d experienced at camp, still broken by what had happened to my dad and other summer staff members. Still upset that what looked like an affair was being ignored. Our pastor was the only one I could share with because he wouldn’t let me tell anyone else. And even though he was also abusing me, at least I had someone to talk to. Then he went on a mini-sabbatical for a month because they were adopting a child from overseas.

I honestly thought he told me that I could tell our new associate pastor and his wife if I needed to talk to someone while he was gone. And I didn’t tell her about the affair, just about the abuse I’d witnessed. She was a licensed counselor and I thought she might be able to help. Like any sane person would be, she was horrified at what I shared. So she told her husband. Who told the senior pastor when he got back. And I got in trouble.

I was called a gossip again. I was kicked out of women’s ministry with no hope of going back. I was no longer allowed to sing with the worship team. Every Monday, no matter what I did or didn’t do, the senior pastor would yell at my husband about how terrible I was and how I wouldn’t change.

Because he couldn’t break me. I refused to take all the blame. I knew that what happened at camp was wrong. And that what was currently happening was wrong. I refused to stop noticing the problem.

These were the hardest months of my life. They nearly destroyed me. I felt like the woman caught in adultery just waiting to be stoned.

We Should Have Quit

We prayed about quitting. We should have. But we loved the people. We loved the teenagers we worked with. We believed that God could work a miracle in the heart of the senior pastor. So we stayed. Until we couldn’t stay any more.

Eventually my husband was called into a meeting and told that we didn’t have chemistry with the senior pastor and therefore we were being forced to resign. It was March 9th. He was informed that the elders wouldn’t be telling the church until May and that if we said anything before that, or told the truth about what had been happening, we would be kicked out immediately with no severance package.

person looking out through window
Photo by Noah Silliman

We should have quit right then and there. But we didn’t because we were poor, emotionally ragged, and had two small children to feed.

For two months we carried this horrible secret. And every Monday my husband was told how awful I was being even though I was just literally hiding in the church basement making coffee every Sunday. It was the only ministry I was allowed to do. My husband endured verbal, emotional, and spiritual abuse during this year from hell. But we didn’t have the words to describe it as abuse back then.

During these two months, our pastor decided that I was such a mess that I needed professional help, so he sent me to Miriam. At the beginning of the first session I had three questions for her. I wanted to know if she was familiar with Bill Gothard’s teachings, if she thought they were wrong, and if she would promise to keep everything I said confidential from my pastor. When she confirmed those things, I poured out my heart for forty-five minutes. At the end Miriam looked at me and said four beautiful words, “Christy, you’ve been hurt.”

It was the first time someone validated me instead of blaming me. The church paid for eight beautiful sessions with her. I finally realized I was being abused and not going crazy. Sure enough, our pastor called after the first session, but Miriam had heard enough and refused to talk to him.

The End

Eventually they told the church. The senior pastor called a church wide meeting to announce “God was calling us elsewhere.” People were upset and confused. But we didn’t tell them the truth. We stayed quiet. The church originally asked us to stay through July, then it changed to the beginning of June. Shortly after our resignation was announced, we were told to stop coming to church at all because we were too sad and it was making everyone else sad. So it all just ended.

We got our severance, they got our silence, and we lost our community, our friends, our children’s godparents, and our identity.

Why Tell This Story?

There are plenty of people who question the validity of telling these kinds of stories. They push back by asking about motives, suggesting exaggeration, or claiming that we need to stay quiet “to protect God’s name.”

But the sheer amount of these stories says otherwise.

I’ve realized over the past seven years that for every story that goes public, there are probably hundreds that never get shared. For every one pastor who is exposed for being abusive and controlling, many others will go on abusing without being caught or stopped. This kind of thing is an epidemic in the church right now. I’ve read some wonderful and validating books. My favorites are in the picture below.

Not only do we need to tell these stories for accountability, but we also need to tell the stories so that those who have experienced this type of abuse can recognize that they are not alone. Reading Beth Allison Barr’s story of her husband’s forced resignation in The Making of Biblical Womanhood was eerily familiar—to the point where I wondered if they pass around a script. Hearing the stories on The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill validated my own.

It is helpful to know that we are in good company even if we are all a bit mangled.

Stronger than Ever Before

Personally, I’ve risen from these ashes with new strength. I see through lies faster, approach Christianese with more cynicism, and am quicker to call out abuse. But I’m also gentler and have less answers for those who have been through hell and come back. I have more compassion and empathy. I will sit and cry with you and say nothing.

My own faith in Jesus is more solid than ever. But I will also stand up and quit next time so that I can tell the truth. This abusive control we are experiencing is not Jesus and it needs to stop now.

If you have been spiritually abused, I just want you to know that you are not alone and it’s not your fault. You have been hurt.

Looking for God’s Grace

I’m going to close with Miriam’s ask for me after that first counseling session. She wanted me to look for God’s grace each day. It might be in a sunrise, or a baby’s smile, or a small green leaf poking out of the dirt.

That was something I could do.

Can you find it too?

macro photography of green grass
Photo by Emmanuel Mbala


Thank you, Christy, for your gracious and indeed enthusiastic permission to reblog your post! As you will see, I have just copied it and pasted it more or less straight in to my blog  😊

Here is the link to the original article

Grace and Peace to you all ❤️

Footnotes

Footnotes
1 They market themselves initially as a sort of personal improvement course, but this is just the ‘hook’; the ‘gateway’ to deeper involvement and eventual indoctrination, enslavement and abuse – some of which is of course sexual. They call themselves ‘non-denominational’, which has increasingly – to me at any rate – come to suggest strongly that they are some sort of cult. Certainly, the church I wrote about in my recent article ‘I Was A Stranger‘ would claim to be non-denominational. The term always hoists red flags for me nowadays! Although they are not a fully Evangelical group (they differ from Evangelical doctrines in several ways), their methods are pretty much the same in many respects, and so I am using Christy’s story as a parallel to the exact same things that happen in Evangelical churches. In addition, the IBLP are also strongly into home-schooling which, while a valid method of schooling children where the children can’t otherwise access education (say if they are housebound due to a disability or something), in other cases is simply a means of isolating children from the outside world so that they can be effectively indoctrinated without any interference from reality. It seems that wherever humans gather in the name of Religion, these things happen.
2 It might be relevant to mention at this point that the extremely problematic and yet very popular TV series, ’19 kids and counting’ (or whatever number of kids they’d reached at the time of filming 🤣), was about the Duggar family who were/are still themselves part of the toxic IBLP movement.

Vision of the Valley – Reblog

This entry is part 26 of 30 in the series The Problems of Evangelicalism

Nearly eleven years ago, I published this blog item about the way that hard and unbending Religion treats people. I used Don Francisco’s epic song, ‘Vision of the Valley’ to illustrate the concept, and also wrote quite a bit of prose to go along with it.

Back then, I had no way of knowing that now, over a decade later, I would be writing a blog series describing exactly the same issues in Christianity; the only difference being that I am being more specific and focusing on Evangelicalism, because that’s where I came from in terms of my faith point of view.

Since the original publication of my article, Evangelicalism has got worse. Without getting political, I am sure that my readers are well aware of the excesses and apostasy of, particulary, American Evangelicalism, but also noticed that British Evangelicalism is going in a similar direction. Heaven help us. Oh, Heaven, help us!

As we have seen from my recent extended piece describing the disgraceful ignorance of an Evangelical congregation near me, it is apparent that religious people are getting more and more polarised away from the very people . ‘The World’ – that they are supposedly meant to be ministering to; trying to ‘save’ them, even. They take more and deeper entrenched positions, they stubbornly resist the changes in society like as if they were trying to stem an advancing tide, all the while claiming that ‘it’s the World that needs to change, not the Bible’. They remain fully unaware that the very faith they are ‘trying to protect’ was itself once a ‘change in society’; Britain was not always a Christian nation (if indeed it ever really was). The ignorance of history displayed by these people is simply staggering!

But anyway, less of that. I will pass you over to the Tony of 10 1/2 years ago, where I describe why I was posting the essay I wrote, and what it was all about. And I am sure you will realise that, in terms of Religious polarisation, things have gotten much worse since then.


In 1991, the Christian musician Don Francisco published an album entitled ‘Vision of the Valley. The title track, ‘Vision of the Valley’ was a prophetic song depicting God’s feelings against the fake shepherds of the Christian Church; those interested in being leaders only for the money, the power and/or the prestige and social standing that the ‘job’ gave.

Now, almost a quarter-century later[1], I believe that this song is echoing what Father is doing in this time.

You see, for too long, many (but not all) churches all around the world have concentrated on god’s anger, judgement, ‘holiness’ (in this context, meaning his being ‘set apart’ from, or in other words allergic to, ‘sin’), rules and laws, and other unsavoury aspect of the character of ‘angry god’ portrayed especially in the Old Testament. Churches have been harsh and unbending, they have been unwelcoming to those that don’t fit in. The way they treat their members, at least those who deviate even slightly from the ‘normal’ behaviour, is reprehensible. They have persecuted the minorities – such as gay/lesbian/transgender people, they have rejected the widows and their children (divorcees and remarried people – see my article on this here) and they have shunned those who do not agree with them on absolutely every point of doctrine.

There are people bleeding and broken by ‘heavy shepherding’ – bullying, strong-personality leader types who make their congregation do things without question and order them around in God’s Name, and confront them with their ‘sins’, supposedly ‘in love’.

Love could not be further from these people. They are not being Christ to their people, nor to those outside. Is it any wonder, then, that the world looks in on the Church of today – whether that particular congregation is guilty of this or not; they are all tarred with the same brush by those outside – with contempt. This is the face of Religion – cold, hard, unbending, unmerciful. The Church, generally, is no longer seen as representing Christ  to the world – the Christ Who turned the cold face of Religion on its head and redefined how people can relate to God…..

So what Father is doing is that there are many people around the world who do represent Jesus, and He is raising these people up and bringing them out into the limelight. People whom before we ‘…hadn’t noticed’. People in every walk of life who love Jesus and love others. People like me, who have recently ‘come out’ as an affirmer of Lesbian/gay/transgender people. People like good friends of mine, who have realised that the harshness of the Old Testament is not a true reflection of God’s nature, and that proper interpretation of Scripture is essential in determining doctrine, if indeed you even need doctrine as such, but in any event at least where that doctrine dictates how you treat others.

Jesus is in this day reaching out to those who need Him in their lives. The broken, the bleeding, those damaged by bullying religion, those bound up by archaic rules and laws that Jesus came to set us free from.

So, here’s the song – Vision of the Valley – by Don Francisco, used here with his permission:

Vision_of_the_Valley

The vision came unbidden, at an unexpected pass
Where the winds of change blew colder
Whippin’ snow that cut like glass
But like an old man in regret
For foolish sins and wasted youth
The scene that lay before me
Had no beauty save its truth

For the wind came down the mountains
Never slow and never still
And the sheep were scattered shepherdless,
Alone across the hills
They were prey to every beast that roamed,
And entrapped by every curse
And they stumbled in their sickness,
In their weakness and their thirst

Below them in the valley,
The polluted waters flowed
Where the shepherds that were hirelings sat
And argued what was owed
And the ambitious and the abusive bragged
And they boasted on their might
And their profits from the slaughter
Of the ones who could not fight

And the wind just kept on howling,
As I cried, “Oh Lord, how long
Will your people be the victims
Of the ruthless, proud and strong?”
And at once there came an answer
In the quiet of my soul
“The time has come for judgement
And to make the wounded whole”

“For my heart is still a shepherd’s heart
I know each one by name
The ragged and the beautiful,
The healthy and the lame
And I myself will lead them out,
And I’ll feed them on the best
In pastures by still waters
In a place of peace and rest

O, but woe unto the shepherds who abuse my sheep and kill
With harshness and severity you’ve bent them to your will
And today I am against you as I take them from your hand
When the fire of judgement comes
The stubble will not stand!”

Then darkness filled the valley
And I saw it take up form
Screaming winds and fire and lightning
More than any earthly storm
Where it passed were no survivors
For the land was cleansed and bare
But the streams flowed clear and purified
And the grass grew green and fair

I saw a man come walking
And his heart glowed like a flame
All the sheep began to run to him,
And he called each one by name
He spoke to them in gentle words
And he soothed their fearful minds
And he healed the brokenhearted
And the crippled, sick and blind
Then many others like him,
All with hearts that glowed the same
That before I hadn’t noticed,
From the farms and fields they came
They weren’t famous, wise, or noble
But they spoke a common word
A word the flock could recognize
And follow when they heard

They led them in green pastures,
By still waters in the light
Standing guard against the wolves
And other creatures of the night
Going out into the mountains
In the darkness and the cold
Bringing back the lost and wounded
To the safety of the fold
And the news went out around the world
In every street and town
That something wonderful was here,
That heaven had come down
And millions gave their hearts in trust
That long had been betrayed
And the bride at last was ready,
And the trumpet call was made

And the news went out around the world
In every street and town
That something wonderful was here,
That heaven had come down
And millions gave their hearts in trust
That long had been betrayed
And the bride at last was ready,
And the trumpet call was made

The ‘many others like Him’ are those people who, in this time, are spending time getting to know the Great Shepherd’s Heart, and then expressing that Heart to those around them. They are the ones who have forgotten their ability to judge others, and instead have decided to preach the Good News of the Kingdom either directly, or by the way they express the Love of Jesus in their lives.

Are you one of those people? Would you like to be one of those people? Maybe if you listen to ‘Vision’, your backbone feels like there’s electricity running down it right from that opening harp arpeggio right at the beginning of the song? Does your heart burn with the dual emotions of excitement of believing what God is doing today and the deep weeping for those so badly treated by those who should know better? Does your heart weep for those sheep, and long for them to be released into the freedom that Jesus bought for them? If any of these descriptions strike a chord with you, then the Spirit is indeed speaking this to your heart – so be encouraged! He will work this out for you if you ask Him.

What does this mean, then, for the ‘shepherds’? What is this ‘woe’ that the song speaks of, reflecting the passages in Ezekiel 34:2-10 and Jeremiah 23:1?

Quite simply, as people leave the churches of these people, they will be out of a job! Sure, their existing congregations might well stay the same size, since they will probably be made up of people who are equally hard and harsh. But as Holy Spirit works on the hard hearts of those people, and even on the leaders, they will come round to His way of thinking. And the Church will grow, but not the churches that are hardened, at least not with people who know their relationship with Jesus has saved them from the hell of a life lived on the streets without Him. They will form their own groups around those who go out and find them; in short, relationship will win over rules and organisation. Don’t forget that God loves even the harsh shepherds, and longs for them to realise their error and to come into the fulness of His Kingdom in this life. They are missing out on so much!

So, listen to the song again and again. Soak in it; hear its message, and if you are one of these hard-hearted people, then let the Spirit change you into the person you always wanted to be.


Edit: Here’s another version of the song, live by Don Francisco, in the 1989 UK ‘Vision of the Valley’ Tour. The keyboard player is Yorkshireman Dave Bainbridge, of the band ‘Iona’; I played piano at his baptism….

Footnotes

Footnotes
1 Of course, at the time I am publishing this reblog of the original essay, it’s now not only a quarter-century, but more like half a lifetime later!!

I Was A Stranger….

This entry is part 25 of 30 in the series The Problems of Evangelicalism
“I was a stranger, and you did not welcome Me”
– Matthew 25:43 (ESV)
Passing the Test? – A Real-Time Experiment

I have a friend who began going to a church near me – a congregation that I’d never heard of – and they suggested to me that I might like it and even want to go. And, given how much my friend was being blessed in this church, I thought I might indeed take a look.

Being Autistic, I needed to check them out a little first. Autism, for all its amazing benefits – which I would not be without! – has some downsides too, the main one for me being that I have a perception that I will not fit in because I am so ‘different’; so ‘odd’. This has been the case since my schooldays; fortunately I have spent the majority of my Christian life in congregations where they accepted me exactly as I am[1]. So I wanted to see if there’s a chance that this one will accept me like that too.

Because of this, I adopted the sensible approach, and took a look at their website. I gave particular attention to their ‘Statement of Faith’ which (usually, anyway) sets out what they believe[2].

And fair enough, there it is: they’re an Evangelical church; they believe in Biblical infallibility (that is, the Bible is always right), and in ‘eternal conscious torment’ (i.e. ‘Hell’) for those who do not believe in Jesus. All clear so far 🙂

Nothing in their Statement of Faith presented any particular problem to me; no matter what church I attend, I am mature enough in my faith to be able to spit out the bones and eat the meat – to learn the things of God while internally rejecting those things that don’t sit right with my spirit in terms of doctrine or anything else. It’s a shame more Christians don’t do this! So, things look good so far 😊

But I still needed to do my Litmus Test. I have written on this before; the Litmus Test is where I ask a potentially contentious question[3] to see how they cope with it: how they answer; and indeed whether they answer!; and what they say in their answer. Using this method, I can make a pretty good guess as to how I would be welcomed despite my ‘differences’ and therefore how ‘safe’ I will feel in their group!

Because my questions have been ignored in the past, when asking other Evangelical groups the Litmus question, this time I’m going to keep track of my questions; the times I sent them, and any replies, so that my attempt at communication works out like a real-time experiment, with me writing down each ‘test’, and its result, in real time. In that way, it will read as a story; it will be productive in that you will be able to learn from what really happened, as it happened; and you will see my methodical approach to the whole thing. And I hope you enjoy it!

And so, to begin, I found their church contact page, and I simply asked them my question, via their online electronic contact form. Here’s the question as asked:


Hi there

I have been looking with interest at your church website and, in response to the things I have seen there, I wanted to ask a couple of simple questions about your practices.

Here we go:

How do you, as a church, cope with people of ‘different’ sexualities (like Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Queer etc. (LGBTQ+))? I have contacted churches with this question in the past, and have not once received a clear reply!

What I mean by my question is, how much do you integrate people of ‘alternative’ sexualities into your church? I’d really love to hear an honest answer from you on this subject.

For example, do you really preach ‘come as you are, don’t worry, we’ll accept you’, or is it instead the sort of thing where it’s really ‘come as you are but we want to change you’?

Or can an LGBTQ+ person come along and be fully accepted just as they are, without any expectation of changing to your pattern, along with any partner they may have?

Are LGBTQ+ people treated in any way differently from other people in the church? Are they fully accepted but with reservations? Would people be in any way judgmental about them?

And can an LGBTQ+ person hold a position of responsibility in your congregation?

In other words, can people feel ‘safe’ in your church?

I know that’s a lot – more than just a ‘couple’ of questions, in fact! – but I am asking all these honest questions in order to ascertain whether or not this is a safe church for all people, or just those deemed ‘normal’.

I look forward to reading your reply!

Thanks for your time

Anthony


So it’s Sunday 22nd March, and I’ve just sent that question off. Because this is being written in real time, I will now actually stop writing this essay for a few days, giving them until later in the week to respond, at which time I will resend the question if they haven’t already replied.


Hiding behind the Sofa!

It’s now Thursday, 26th March. Did they pass the test by answering the question? Or are they hiding, terrified, behind the sofa[4], hoping that the stranger (figuratively) knocking on their door (me!) will just go away?!🤣

Well, I’m sad to say that there was no response. I am still ‘in the dark’; I don’t know if they got my message and decided to ignore it (by hiding behind the sofa!), or whether it never got there, or if they just haven’t had time to read it yet! But I’m not going to just go away. I still don’t know how ‘safe’ I would be at that church, and I would like to know because my friend’s recommendation carries considerable weight for me. So, I’m going to try again a couple of times until either they answer, or it becomes plain that not only are they still hiding behind the sofa, but have possibly even been there for so long that they have died back there and no-one has found the body yet[5] 😂 .

And so, I am sending them the question again today (26th March):


Hi there, back on Sunday 22nd, I sent you a question about your church, and I was disappointed that I haven’t received a reply yet. I suspect you might have been on holiday! Anyway, I will re-send the question for you here, rather than have you troll through your inbox to try to find it. Here we go:

[Copied and pasted the original message in, verbatim]

So, again, let’s wait and see! Let’s also hope that the bodies behind the sofa aren’t beginning to smell too badly….


Monday, 30th March.

There’s been no response from the church yet.

It did occur to me that they may not be monitoring their communications from that contact page; their website is set up in the form of a WordPress blog (like this one) and their last posts were in December 2022, so just over three years ago. Maybe their comms aren’t being looked at, then. Maybe the guy who designed their website and monitors their comms is one of the bodies behind the sofa, and as such is terminally incapacitated 🤣

Or something.

Ok, then, let’s control that part of the experiment by sending them another, more innocuous message that doesn’t contain anything even remotely unusual. And we’ll send it via the contact form again because that’s the system we are testing with this message. I won’t write here the message I sent; suffice it to say that it was a routine sort of enquiry similar to ‘do you take a collection’ sort of thing, and giving a different email address from the one I gave for my previous messages. Who knows, maybe my other address was being blocked for some reason. You never know!

Now, if the message doesn’t get through, then no harm done; no-one will have read it. If, however, it does get through and they reply, then that tells me that they do indeed receive contact requests through their website and they are deliberately ignoring my original messages. The small subterfuge of asking a trivial question in order to try to get a message through is, in my opinion, justified[6].


Tuesday 31st March

Well, my innocuous message got a reply from the pastor! This tells me that messages sent via the online contact page are indeed being received; that they are monitoring communications sent via that page. And this leads me to believe that the Litmus Test messages I sent were actually received but were being ignored (back behind the sofa we go!). There are a couple of other possibilities. It could be that they don’t read their contact form messages all that often. That would explain the lack of response so far to my questions, but only if this is in combination with the pastor possibly needing to consult with his leadership team (if they have one; in common with most Evangelical churches, they probably do) with regards to the best line to take when replying to that impertinent LGBTQ+ query! It would need to be a combination of both late reading and working out an answer, because the receipt of the innocuous email shows that their system is working at a normal speed for electronic communications – i.e. it’s fast – so any delay in replying is a human factor. If it were me in their position, I would have written back and said something like ‘We’ll get back to you on your query; bear with us’, which would be fine. Well, kind of, anyway; if you think about it, anything other than a big, hearty ‘YES!!’ to LGBTQ+ inclusion has to be viewed as showing the strong possibility that actually they don’t accept people with ‘differences’. But let’s cut them some slack. There’s always the chance they might think in depth and come up with a decent policy.

As an aside at this point, let me also tell you something good about this church: they do welcome homeless people. Like I said, I had a friend at that church and they told me that there were all kinds of different people there, from professionals, to everyday blue-collar people, to farmers, to homeless people; you name it. I wonder then if they have any LGBTQ+ people there and, although they welcome them, they believed that my question was some sort of ruse? I mean, it isn’t; it’s a genuine question that will help me determine whether or not it is a ‘safe’ church for someone like me to attend. As I’ve already described, my neurodivergence means that I am someone who is very different from ‘normal’ people. This is why I do the Litmus Test; their attitudes towards LGBTQ+ people will be a good indicator about how they relate to ‘different’ people in general.

Another point about that church was that I recognised someone in one of their website photos, and I had actually met him a few years back – he was at work and he served me as a customer – and I just knew he was a Christian because I could feel the Spirit on him. And so yes, Jesus is ‘in’ at least one person at that church! 😉 I have no doubt that God turns up every Sunday and that the people walk with Jesus. No, sorry, I’m being facetious; I am sure that each person at that church knows the Lord, not just that one bloke. It’s just that what puzzles me is still that glaring point: so if Jesus is so much a part of their existence, like He is with me, then why the problem with answering contact requests? I still, I ehhh, well I just don’t get it. Like I said, my friend’s recommendation, and their favourable impressions of the church, do carry considerable weight for me, which is why I find it puzzling. Aaaaanyway….

Well, in order to give them another fair chance at a reply, I then actually emailed using a ‘proper’ email message, as opposed to simply contacting them through their website form. In this way, we bypass the contact form altogether. To check I had their email address right, I actually drove up to their physical premises! and found out their email address from their signboard.

So I emailed them, to that ‘official’ email address, the same message that I sent on 26th March, as above, and I now await their reply. I’ll give it a few days, as per normal, before I call it a day on the experiment, write it all up and publish. I have to say, though, that by now I would be very surprised were I to receive a reply to my questions.


Right, so now it’s Tuesday 7th April, the Tuesday after Easter this year. I’ve left it so long because I did them the courtesy of not burdening them with my terrifying question over the Easter weekend and thus spoiling it! 🤣 But I still have not heard back from them – good job I didn’t hold my breath; I’d be purple by now! – and so I’m going to write to them again in a slightly different manner; in the form of a gentle appeal. I’m using direct email and writing to the church email address, and also copying in the pastor on his personal email account. Here’s what I’m sending:

Please answer my question

Hi there

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been hoping for a reply from you regarding my question – sent several times and via different pathways – via your church contact page, and via direct email to your church email address which I got from the signboard outside your premises – about to what extent LGBTQ+ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer and other sexualities) people are integrated into your church. In my contact attempts, I set out clearly my questions, and gave a clear and valid reason why I am asking those questions.

It saddens me greatly that I have not yet received a reply. I do believe that the messages have been getting through to you, so I can see only five possible reasons for the lack of a reply:

1) I was wrong; the messages are not in fact getting through to you;
2) The messages are getting through to you, but you are on holiday or very busy, or both;
3) You suspect that my neutrally-expressed question is from someone who would not want to come to your church if they thought that LGBTQ+ people *were* welcome there;
4) You suspect that LGBTQ+ people would not want to come to your church if they thought they would *not* be welcome there, but you don’t want to put them off by telling them that;
5) You and your leadership team are as yet undecided on your stance on LGBTQ+ issues, or at least on how to respond to my questions. In which case, please acknowledge this with a simple, ‘We’ll get back to you’, unless of course you’re not going to get back to me!

Whatever the reason, I would like to make a final request that you answer my question, please, and, in its shortened form, it’s this:

*To what extent are LGBTQ+ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer and other sexualities) people integrated into your church?*

I have deliberately done you the courtesy of not burdening you with this over what is likely the busiest weekend in your church’s calendar!

I won’t trouble you with the question again after asking this time. That said, though, this isn’t going to just go away. Even though this is the last time I will ask, someone else will ask you again, sooner or later.

I hope this time to hear back from you.

Thanks

Anthony

Note how I have simplified it down to just ‘to what extent are LGBTQ+ … people integrated into your church?’ I also gave him five reasonable ‘excuses’. I really am trying to be gracious here!

Again, let’s wait and see…


Well, Saturday 11th April has dawned and still no word. Because they could indeed have gone on holiday after surviving the hectic Easter weekend – which is a realistic possibility – I am going to leave it until Monday 13th April before I publish this. Let’s give them every chance!

But in the meantime, let’s just consider the ‘no-reply’ reasons that I suggested in the email above. We may be able to glean something that might explain why I haven’t heard anything back.

1) I was wrong; the messages are not in fact getting through to you

This is not the reason; I know from the ‘innocuous question’ test that I asked that the mails are getting through to them.

2) The messages are getting through to you, but you are on holiday or very busy, or both

This is possible, which is why I’ve given them so long before publishing. But given that I copied my final email to the pastor’s personal email account as well as the church one, I’d have thought that it would have got through to someone at least. If I do hear back at a later date, and they were/are still on holiday, then I will update this essay to reflect that. Can’t say fairer than that.

3) You suspect that my neutrally-expressed question is from someone who would not want to come to your church if they thought that LGBTQ+ people *were* welcome there

…or (I will lump these two reasons together)

4) You suspect that LGBTQ+ people would would not want to come to your church if they thought they would *not* be welcome there, but you don’t want to put them off by telling them that

In other words, they are worried that I might not like their answer, for either of those reasons or maybe some other reason. In which case, if they’re in any doubt, they should ask for me to clarify the question, and not just ignore the email. Another church I once asked this question of, at least offered to come and have a chat with me, which I graciously declined. Now that’s the way to handle this if they’re in any doubt. But, especially regarding the opinions of other believers as I mentioned in point (3), it is worth mentioning that the fear of man (and man’s opinions) has to do with voluntarily placing the ownership of our lives into the hands of men, whether we realise it or not. We change our behaviour in order to be accepted. Well, there’s no need to do that, not ever. Jesus didn’t do it, and neither should we. It’s not about pleasing men at all, not even other believers who want you to conform. Your life, your reputation, your ministry, and your church belong to God, not to the people who would try to judge you. Proverbs 29:25 (KJV) says that “The fear of man bringeth a snare but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe”. It’s worth remembering that.

5) You and your leadership team are as yet undecided on your stance on LGBTQ+ issues, or at least on how to respond to my questions. In which case, please acknowledge this with a simple, ‘We’ll get back to you’, unless of course you’re not going to get back to me!

This would kind-of be fair enough, and, again, if they need to decide on something, then maybe they will contact me later – I will update the essay if they do. But there was also no ‘we’ll get back to you’ note either, so I seriously doubt I’ll hear back unless, as we’ve already considered, holidays.

There’s a sixth reason that I left out of the email because it’s not all that polite; remember I was trying to be reasonable, a) in the hope of getting an answer and also b) to not want to offend a brother in Christ. And that sixth reason is that they just decided to ignore the problem and hope it will go away. It’s very cosy behind that there sofa…. 🤣🤣🛋️ Well, I might go away, but my writing won’t 😂 This is the cowardly approach, to put it bluntly. What would it have cost them to reply to me? And even if the cost was huge, in whatever terms, would it not be worth it in order to rescue a ‘sinner’ from the pit?

There’s also the additional possibility that they think it’s all a joke or a ruse; that I’m just trying to wind them up, provoke them, or something else – maybe they thought I was a militant anti-Christian just using the LGBTQ+ question as a way of starting an argument! – and therefore to reply would be to feed the trolls. Well, in response to that, I’d say that while in this piece I have indeed tried to keep a humourous slant on most of the prose[7], the question was not asked as a joke, nor as a wind-up or provocation, and nor should it be assumed to be one. It should be standard practice to treat seriously any question from a new/unknown contact, unless and until they know for sure that it was a joke or something worse. As we have seen in my explanations above, the questions were genuine in that I was trying to ascertain how ‘safe’ the church would be for me, and that was clearly expressed in my original messages. That I could write it up, in the same manner as if it were an experiment, is simply my way of trying to make sense of it using the analytical mind that God has given me. So, it’s not a ruse; it is a perfectly valid question, asked for a real and clearly-stated reason.

To sum up all that blather: There’s just no excuse!


Monday 13th April, in the evening. Ok, still no reply after yet another week. In fact it’s been like three weeks now, just over. I’d say it’s time to stop the experiment, and publish my results.

And I will also send them the reassurance that I will not be bothering them again:

Lessons Learned

Hi [Pastor’s name]

Well, you’ll be pleased to know I won’t be asking you that LGBTQ+ question again. It’s sad that you didn’t feel that you could reply, by hey-ho; I’m sure you had your reasons.

I had hoped for better; [I then shared something personal which I won’t go in to in public, but it’s about me identifying with the pastor as a brother and fellow human].

Anyway, I asked the LGBT question because I was thinking of coming to your church, and I needed to know how safe it is for people who are ‘different’, as I openly said in my initial messages.

I’ll tell you straight off that I am not gay, nor am I of any other ‘alternative’ sexuality. I am actually autistic, and I have several personal disability issues that make it very hard for me to be in a public place, because I am so ‘different’. The LGBTQ+ question is simply a litmus test that I use in order to try to find out whether or not I will feel comfortable attending a church, despite my differences. 

And I had so much to give. I am a recently retired NHS professional and with a classical education; I have a Bible college qualification; and I have formal qualifications in theology. On 12th July this year, I will have been walking in love and power with Jesus for 46 years. I am a highly experienced and talented Charismatic worship leader, having led countless worship meetings varying in size from housegroups up to congregations of hundreds of people. I am a gifted musician, and I have also done much public preaching work. I have had extensive training and experience in ministering in spiritual gifts, with proven proficiency in words of knowledge, in prophetic ministry, and in spoken and written word, doing only what I see my Father doing. I have even ministered on a couple of occasions at Brunel Manor. However, I do not put my good works on show; I do not do things for human approval, so you’ll not have heard of me. I’m just a humble minister of Jesus who practises His work quietly and behind the scenes; I am one who does the will of his Father in Heaven.

Sad to say, then, that the lack of any answer to my question has made me completely sure that I will not attend your church, unless of course the Lord tells me very clearly that He wants me to do so.

I was a stranger, and you would not take me in. You wouldn’t even answer my serious question.

I have written this experience up factually, and have published it on my blog at

[Gave him the link to this article]

I haven’t named anyone, neither church nor individual. Jesus doesn’t work like that, and neither do I.

Grace and Peace to you and, despite your failure to respond to me, I pray every blessing on your ministry; Grace is not dependent on behaviour. We will meet in Glory, but likely not before.

Shalom, shalom

Anthony

I might get a reply; I might not. Probably not, given their previous record. And to be honest I’m not bothered whether I do or I don’t. I simply would not want to be a part of their congregation; I just can’t be doing with rudeness like that. And from fellow brothers in Christ too!

Conclusion:

The bottom line for the experiment, then, is this: They fail the test.

They fail to convince me that they are a church where Jesus would fraternise with ‘tax collectors and sinners’. If this were not so, then they would have proved it to me, simply by replying to my question. Sure, they may have homeless people there. But that’s not the whole story, as well they will know. Had they been an ‘accepting’ church, then they’d have given their questioner the benefit of the doubt, should any doubt exist. It seems to me that, in their church, judgment triumphs over mercy. And by comparing that attitude with their Rulebook, in James 2:13, I’d say they’ve got that back-to-front from how God wants it.

But it answers my question. It’s not a church I could go to, simply because I would not feel safe there. They failed to be up-front about a simple question; there’s no telling what it would be like to actually be in that congregation. So I won’t be going. I wouldn’t dream of attending a church where such an offensive attitude is displayed towards complete strangers. This is Evangelicalism at its worst[8].

Because they were not upfront about answering the question, to me that demonstrates that they are just as closeted and inward-looking as any of the other more culty Evangelical congregations. They will claim that they want to be a ‘witness for Jesus’, and they’ll want to try to grow their church by dragging in more ‘converts’, but this will happen slowly and at the end of the day their converts will be ‘..twice the sons of Gehenna that [they] are’ (Mt 23:15), because they will have to conform to the societal norm within that group – which is to be inward-looking. I have had long experience with groups like that, both from inside and out, and they look to be just the same old, same old as other groups I have been part of.

No, these people have nothing to offer me; there is nothing good for me here, and, conversely, I am sure that anything I bring from my own storehouses (Mt 13:52) would not be welcomed by them. And so, I have nothing to offer them either. If they had wanted my ‘services’, based on what looks quite like a resumé on my final message to them 😂 then that message would have been responded to in, shall we say, positive terms. I have also noticed that groups like this are absolutely terrified of people with ‘proper’ theological qualifications, even though these qualifications, in and of themselves, don’t really mean anything in terms of spirituality. I think it threatens their internal power and authority structures, but that’s just my personal opinion. These are people who are afraid of proper theology because it could end up changing, even if only slightly, their cherished beliefs; in short, they are not going to be teachable[9].

Also, the complete lack of any answer to the question, “…to what extent are LGBTQ+ people integrated into your church?”, means that the answer is actually this: They’re not.

And therefore they will also likely have difficulties in accepting people like me, with my ‘differences’. The Litmus Test has done its job and saved me from a world of hurt!

So, to sum up:

I was a stranger[10] and they would not welcome me. For whatever reason, they will not answer my reasonable question even though their systems are working.

Do they think that Jesus would be pleased with that attitude, given that He said that inasmuch as they didn’t do it for the least of these, they didn’t do it for Him?

I will leave you to ponder….

Grace and Peace to you all


As part of the process of writing this article, I also thought of a lot of things that might be useful for churches and their leadership who might be interested in beginning to accommodate LGBTQ+ and other ‘different’ people in their congregations. The work is pretty unpolished but it might be useful, and so I have published it as an Appendix below.


I Was A Stranger – Part II – Appendix
Discussion, Ramifications and Recommendations

(What it means if you hide behind the sofa!)

I wanted the results of the experiment to be constructive: for me; for my readers; and for the leadership of that church if they do follow the link that I gave them. And, indeed, I also want it to be constructive – indeed edifying! – for any person in a position of church leadership who might read the essay. If I am highlighting faults with the attitudes of Evangelicals, or indeed of any church, towards the full acceptance, or otherwise, of LGBTQ+ people, then it wouldn’t be right to just present the problems without proposing some solutions as well.

Let me begin by explaining that LGBTQ+ inclusion is becoming a major hot-potato issue in the church worldwide, and not just in Evangelicalism. Here’s an excellent quotation from Bill White:

“…non-Christians are asking the L.G.B.T.Q. question before they even enter the door as a litmus test[11] as to whether they will even come in the first place. We can argue about whether that’s fair or not, but we can’t argue about whether that’s reality. They simply will only come to a church that is welcoming of L.G.B.T.Q. people, and not what they call ‘pretend’ welcoming into what they call “second-class citizenship.”
– Bill White

I also found some good evidence of groups who not only see and appreciate the problem, but they also do something about it. For example (and it’s well worth reading carefully, and in detail):

“[In our group] there are no tricks, no half-measures, no false promises, no crossed fingers when it comes to our welcome, affirmation, and celebration of LGBTQ+ people. We affirm the LGBTQ community in all its variations, colors, identities, and expressions”

– The Faith Community (link is here)

That’s what I would call the proper attitude for a congregation who really want to welcome the ‘tax collectors and sinners’ that Jesus had no problems with welcoming and associating with (Mt 9:10). It’s important, then, for modern Christianity in general, and Evangelicalism in particular, to get up to speed with the issues that are caused when LGBTQ+ and other ‘odd’ groups are discriminated against in the church.

Maybe you might think I was hounding that church in my original essay, by asking the Litmus question several times. But I wasn’t. I had a genuine question that, as a potential new congregant, was perfectly valid and perfectly reasonable – and they should have answered it. In essence, it’s no different to asking them if they take a collection/offering, or what kinds of songs they sing. There was no need for them to hide what they think, nor is there any need for them to hunker down behind the titular item of furniture. If they have an existing ‘policy’ (for want of a better term), then they should just get it out there and tell me. If they don’t have a policy, then that’s what they should tell me. If someone asked, ‘Do you serve coffee afterwards?’, I’m sure that would have received a prompt reply. I mean, I haven’t even said I am gay or anything; I have simply asked how they integrate LGBTQ+ people into their group. And that’s all.

As my readers will know, I am a veteran Christian, coming up on 46 years of walking with the Lord; Bible-college trained and with a classical education including formal qualifications in theology; and with decades of experience in the anointed leading of Charismatic worship meetings, playing live instruments, doing musical ministry. I have a gentle, pastoral outlook that just wants to bless people; I just want to be Jesus to others. I’m not going to be modest here: I’d have been a real catch! But of course they didn’t know that. All they see is someone asking an awkward question about how well LGBTQ+ people are accepted. Surely not a major threat[12], nor any reason to not reply?

I don’t know; maybe they think I am gay myself, and therefore it doesn’t matter if this ‘sinner’ doesn’t come along; best be shot of me even before I begin with them! Maybe they’ve forgotten that Jesus Himself welcomed ‘sinners’, including prostitutes!, much to the chagrin of the Religious of His day. Maybe they are scared of damage to their reputation with other Evangelical Christians if they were to do likewise. Guilt by association. Jesus wasn’t bothered by that, and neither should any Christian be.

Well, here are some suggestions for people in leadership of this kind of church, who have been patient enough to have read this far. Kudos to you, if you’re one of them! The suggestions are meant to be constructive, but sadly many Evangelicals would consider them to be anything but. However, I’ll try. The points are raised in no particular order of importance and they are not necessarily linked conceptually with previous points. I probably even repeat myself on occasion. These points aren’t supposed to be a polished treatise like my other pieces, or even the main essay; they’re more of a ‘thought shower’.

  • Nowadays, more and more people are using this question, or a similar one, as a litmus test for churches. If you want to get people in to your church, you need to think right now about how you’re going to answer it, and what ramifications, and indeed consequences, your answer will have with regard to the growth and relevance of your church. And you need to have that answer ready.
  • I understand it that you don’t want to compromise in any way. On the one hand, you don’t want to ‘water down’ the ‘whole counsel of God'[13](Acts 20:27) because it’s “…the world that needs to change and not the Bible”. On the other hand, you also don’t want to tell the whole truth because you know that the truth, as you understand it, is unpalatable to ‘sinners’.  So, what do you do? Do you risk compromise by ‘watering it down’ to make it more palatable, or do you insist on your (likely to be unpopular) interpretation and put people off coming? If we’re being honest, you likely don’t want such awkwardly-different people in your group anyway. And so maybe you need to look again at the doctrinal points that you hold on to so tightly, why you hold them, and whether or not you can let go of them because they are not part of an unchanging truth; maybe they are simply ‘doctrines made by men’? (Mt 15:9) These are exactly the things that Jesus was talking about in that verse in Matthew; and these doctrines actually cause others to stumble.
When you find your belief system to be the thing keeping you from becoming a better person, summon the courage to become a better person than your beliefs.– Jeff Turner
  • Related to the above, remember that most if not all firmly held doctrines are based on someone’s (an individual’s or a group’s) interpretation of what various Scripture passages mean, when those Scripture passages were not originally written to us today anyway[14]. This is why dogmatic adherence to fixed, set-in-stone doctrines is not a good thing, especially when others are damaged, hurt or excluded by those same doctrines. The first few chapters of the Acts of the Apostles tells the story of a group of people whose faith (which isn’t even called ‘Christianity yet at this stage in the story) has taken a remarkable turn from their previous faith of Judaism, and their ideas are still in a fluid state and they’re trying to come to terms with it all. This is the normal state of being for people (i.e. you and me) who are constantly trying to make sense of the whirlwind of amazing things that God is doing in our time, just as He was doing back then in their time! So, what it should look like for people who claim they want to ‘be like the early Church’ is that they should be constantly changing the way they relate their faith to society, and be in a constant state of fluidity. Solid doctrines don’t really have a place when God is constantly moving; concrete foundations are not very mobile.
  • Remember that the people you are rejecting, or causing to stay away – which amounts to the same thing – are Jesus. “Inasmuch as you did not do this for the least of these, you did not do it for Me” (Mt 25:45). And especially, in my case, where I am a stranger – you don’t know me – and you did not welcome me Mt 25:43). You didn’t even say, Come along anyway and judge for yourself’, which would have been far better in terms of acceptance and even Scriptural – see John 1:45-46. Yes, you love Him; that’s not in doubt here. But you also need to love these people unconditionally – without conditions of any kind – just the same as God loves you. That’s part of what Grace means.
  • You may well be afraid, generally, of presenting a ‘bad witness’, by being seen doing things like smoking or swearing, but this is worse. Here, you are displaying a lack of transparency, the appearance of trying to hide things (or at least not declare things up-front, which amounts to the same thing) and indeed a knowledge or a suspicion of, yes, just how absurd and out-of-date many of your ideas are. But you need to rethink your idea of ‘the word of the Lord endureth forever’ (1Pet1:25; Ps 119:89; Isa 40:8), and apply that Scriptural concept properly and contextually in your lives and beliefs.
  • By not answering perfectly valid questions such as mine, you show a great disrespect for your questioner, because you are showing that their question is not worthy of an answer. In fact, I personally feel quite devalued in human terms, if I’m honest. I didn’t deserve to be ignored. You have devalued me even without meeting me, which is really quite an achievement! I would say that your stubborn ignorance in this case made me realise that you are not the kind of group I would feel safe joining anyway, for several reasons – not least the strong potential for rejection. So I am also glad that you ignored the question, because now I have not had to waste emotional energy on developing relationship, only to have it all count for nothing further down the line.
  • You are also demonstrating pre-judgmentalism, where you have judged the assumed motives or alignment of your questioner’s heart, but without sufficient evidence or personal context. God knows your questioner, and values them individually and personally. And so should you, if you claim to live in Him (1Jn2:6).
  • You will miss out on the unique gifts and talents of people who would have been able to give much to your congregation, both to your enrichment and to theirs. And that’s without you ever knowing them, irrespective of whether they were gay or not.
  • You may well pride yourself in the people you accept. Maybe you accept homeless people alongside mansion-dwellers, and that’s great. But if you reject certain types of people for other reasons – and let’s face it, those reasons are subject to your own personal decisions (we will accept homeless but no gays, thank you very much) – then you are no different from other churches who also reject people for their own, different, reasons and criteria. Maybe you feel better for being a church that does not reject the homeless, whereas ‘that lot down the road’ won’t let someone join the church unless they drive a BMW. Well, by rejecting LGBTQ+ people, and even innocent and valid questions about your church’s attitudes towards them, you demonstrate that you are, in fact, just as bad as ‘that lot down the road’ 🤣 . Acceptance based on behaviour is judgmentalism. If you accept me despite being ‘weird’ due to my autism, but don’t accept LGBTQ+ people, then you are showing a selectivity based on your perception of a person’s worthiness based on their behaviour or inclinations – and this is not a selectivity that God has. You do not reflect your Father in Heaven if you behave like this.
  • You may see this entire thing as being a persecution, or an ‘attack’ from the Enemy. Most Christian organisations, who are entrenched in their beliefs, pass off any criticism (even that intended to be constructive) as such, so that they feel justified in ignoring it. But fellow believers can also make edifying comments and criticisms that are supposed to help you. Iron sharpens iron, and all that (Prov 27:17). This means that the essay is possibly prophetic for you, in a similar way to how the prophet Nathan ministered to King David in 2 Sam 12. If this is the case, then you will have to ask the Lord what He wants you to do with the things you have read here, if indeed you have the ears to hear. Accept or reject? Spit out the bones and eat the meat (i.e. accept some of it, reject some of it)? Either way, do not miss out on what the Lord wants to do with your congregation in order to help you bear more fruit for Him.
  • Remember that, in damaging your own reputation, you are also damaging God’s reputation. So much of your effort is spent on not being a ‘Bad Witness’, and yet, sadly, this is exactly what happens when you a) are not transparent, b) ignore sincere questioners, and c) reject LGBTQ+ people – people that Jesus certainly would not have rejected, and that He died for while they were still ‘sinners’ (Rom 5:8).
  • Like it or not, ‘the World’ aren’t stupid; they know what Jesus looks like, despite the best efforts of the church to misrepresent Him. And in many ways I’m afraid they know what He looks like better than you do, because your vision is skewed by the rules you have to keep. And this means that they will not see Jesus in your congregation, because you do not behave like the Friend of Sinners. Whoever claims to live in Him must walk as Jesus did (1Jn2:6). In your zeal to remain faithful to the Bible, you are neglecting other more important parts of that same word. Woe to you Pharisees neglecting the important parts (Mt 23:23). In effect, you shut the door of Heaven in men’s faces (Mt 23:13). Ignoring a valid and polite question, which came with a clear explanation of its purpose, tells me that you have something to hide. Is it not a colossal red flag where any group, not just a church, is anything less than fully transparent when it comes to openly and unambiguously stating their beliefs?
  • If one of your main objectives is to save people from Hell – and I am assuming that a) you believe in Hell and therefore b) this is indeed your objective – then surely any changes you need to make with regard to the way you relate to people – any people – must be worth it? According to Jesus, it’s the sick who need a doctor (Lk 5:31). And in the way that you acknowledge that you yourselves are ‘sinners in need of a saviour’, you proclaim that not only do you need that Doctor too – don’t we all?! – but also that your particular need for the Doctor does not disqualify you from, for example, full inclusion in the Church, whereas others’ needs for that same Doctor – like being gay, for example – does disqualify them. If all sin is equal in God’s sight[15] then you yourselves are no ‘better’ than those you would disqualify from full inclusion and involvement in your congregation. If all sin is equal in God’s sight, then either you should not disqualify LGBTQ+ people from full inclusion including holding positions of responsibility in the congregation, or you yourselves should not hold such positions. According to your own rules, their ‘sin’ is no worse than your ‘sin’ in God’s sight. In some ways, they’re even doing better than you are: at least their ‘sin’ is out in the open. Only you and God know of your own ‘secret sins’ that you struggle with every day; these are not out in the open[16]. You know exactly which sins I am talking about.
    Don’t you?
  • If you discriminate (because that’s what it amounts to) against people in certain groups, like LGBTQ+ people, or smokers, or those with tattoos, for example, then you are declaring yourselves to be somehow ‘better’ than they are; somehow more ‘deserving’ of God’s Love and Grace, like the Pharisee in Luke 18:11. As your Rulebook says, you know that you should not consider yourselves better than others (Phil 2:3, Rom 12:3). In Micah 6:8, where it says,

“He has shown you, O Man, what is good
And what does the Lord require of you?
To do justice
And to love mercy
And to walk humbly with your God”

…you need to remember that part of walking humbly with God involves not considering others to be in any way inferior to yourself, and you also probably don’t know that God is non-discriminatory in the way in which He gives His Grace. You see, if they don’t deserve it, then neither do you. Fortunately, though, Grace is not so much undeserved (which I know is the standard Evangelical line) so much as it is unearned – nothing you have ever done, nothing you are doing, and nothing you will ever do will make you any more or less worthy to receive God’s Grace. It is a free gift – by definition, a gift is free; who ever paid for their own gift? – and, unlike the standard threat to kids at Christmas where parents tell their child that if you do not behave, then it’s no presents for you, God does not have a naughty list (Heb 8:12). It doesn’t matter if you’ve been naughty or nice; God gives His Grace and His gifts freely to those who do not deserve them, either by actions or by inclinations. And the same criteria apply to those that YOU deem unworthy! But, you might argue, does that mean that a person can ‘sin’ as much as they like and God will still like them? Well, go and honestly work it out, is all I will say on that matter. Ask God for wisdom (Jas 1:5). I could give you some pointers, especially to my own articles, but this is the sort of thing you need to work out for yourself so that you can own your own conclusions.

  • Whether you like it or not, all Christians are one Body in Christ (Gal 3:28). This includes every believer, gay or not, smoker or not, alcoholic or not, gambler, adulterer, whatever. We are one Body. And you have no right to exclude some members of the Body on the basis of your own beliefs, whether or not you consider these as being Scripture-based. Remember you could be wrong, even if your beliefs are based in Scripture. You may think that ‘God never goes against what is written in Scripture’, but that is incorrect, because when Jesus said things like, “You have heard that it is written [something], however I say to you [something different]”, that’s exactly what He was doing; He was going against Scripture. Unless of course you are claming that Jesus isn’t God, which is something that I very much doubt that you would do!
  • Your idea that ‘whoever approves of these things shares in his evil work'[17] is a man-made concept derived from context-dependent verses from two particular letters in the Bible – these verses are found in 2 John 11 and Romans 1:32 (the latter being another verse that is routinely and blatantly ripped out of context). Many Christians use these verses to justify lumping people who support ‘sinners’ in with the ‘sinners’ themselves. Well, you will have to decide. Do you go with your interpretation of St. John’s or St. Paul’s verses, then, or do you emulate Jesus who associated with ‘tax collectors and sinners’ without mentioning their ‘sin’; without bringing it up at all in fact. The Religious of His time saw His association with these people as tacit approval of their ‘behaviour’ or their ‘sin’. How is that different, then, from you saying that whoever approves of, say, gay people, ‘shares in their evil work’? (2 John 11; Rom 1:32) Jesus accepted unacceptable people; He accepted those rejected by the religious. He even died for you while you were still sinners. Should not your attitude be the same?
  • People are more likely to want to come to your meetings if they know they’re not going to be judged or looked down on. Your attitude to LGBTQ+ people models what your attitude would be towards anyone who doesn’t fit in, for whatever reason. Remember that outsiders see Christians as people who love to judge others[18]. Outsiders want to know whether or not, should they join your ranks, they can lead a fulfilling church life including everything they are called to. But they’re gay, then you’re not letting them do that, are you? If it means compromising, then compromise, in the name of Love. Let mercy triumph over judgment (Jas 2:13)!
  • When thinking about caring for ‘the least of these, it is important to note that caring,  also includes valuing them as a person, no matter how ‘unworthy’ you consider them to be, by extending to them the same Grace that God extended to you when you (as you see it) weren’t worthy either. You have become so steeped in religious language, rules and procedures that you have forgotten what it’s like to be a person – say a sympathetic unbeliever or one who is considering believing – on the fringes. Holding these people at arms’ length is, again, shutting the doors of Heaven in men’s faces (Mt 23:13)
  • Let’s do a thought experiment. Just imagine for one moment being a gay person. You join the church, and you ‘become a Christian’. You begin attending a church, and you begin to form close and meaningful friendships with church members, and you invest time and money and talents into the church. No-one knows you’re gay because it just never occurred to you to tell them. But then, you find out (only two months after becoming a Christian) that god hates gays[19]. And he also hates those who affirm them, because guilt by association of course. So, now what do you do? In all innocence, you’ve joined this group of people who will suddenly all[20] have a beef against you. And you wish someone had told you before you joined their group, because now you have a ton of hurt, judgment and rejection to cope with, and you as a new, fledgling Christian who doesn’t know how to cope with all these ‘solid’ Christians telling you how wrong you are and how you have to change or leave. **Thought Experiment Ends!** Think: How would that situation make you feel? Can you see the problem here, in relation to the subject of this essay?
  • I think it’s also a reasonable conclusion that not only would you as a church not be good with LGBTQ+ people, but neither would you be good with those who support and affirm them. So, look at that! You’ve just alienated two groups of people that Jesus loves, for the price of one! Congratulations! Remember that your brother Christians who do affirm LGBTQ+ people are not ‘fallen away’; they are not ‘backslidden’ nor is it the case that ‘they were never true Christians in the first place’. Chances are they said the exact same ‘sinner’s prayer’ that you did, and have lived a Christian life very similar to yours in most respects. Maybe, then, it’s just that they have been listening to Jesus – Who, remember does contradict Scripture when it suits Him (see above) – and He has shown them His heart towards LGBTQ+ people. Maybe their hearts have grown in their walk with Him, and are now more aligned with His heart in this regard. That’s no reflection on you; no-one’s saying that you’re not a Christian or anything like that, or that you don’t listen to Him. It’s just that He has explained to them things that either He hasn’t told you yet, or He has and you weren’t listening or didn’t want to hear. Either way, He’s told them things that you haven’t heard yet, and that’s fine. Maybe now is the time when He wants to tell you these things, maybe not; I wouldn’t presume to tell you that. You will have to listen to Him for yourself.
“If you find that your heart has grown bigger than your doctrine, know that it is the doctrine that needs to go, not the heart that needs to be restricted.”
– Jeff Turner
  • What are you hiding and why? And are you hiding other stuff too? Shouldn’t you be shouting your acceptance and inclusion of ‘tax collectors and sinners’ from the roof tops? Jesus welcomed everyone! Churches who are not upfront about this sort of thing are a red flag; what else are they not telling people?
  • At the end of the day, your failure to even respond to, much less answer, my question, is indicative of cowardice. Yes, you’re hiding behind the sofa! I am guessing that you, like many Christians of the Evangelical persuasion, are running on fear rather than Love. This is the dark side of the coin with such a real and fervent belief as Evangelicalism gives. Yes, there is a real belief in God, in how much He loves us, and that He demonstrated that in Christ Who died for us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8). God is real, Jesus is alive and lives in us, and we know that (well most of us do, anyway) by His Spirit. That’s the bright side of the coin. But that strong belief and faith has a potential dark side as well. It means that if God is indeed real – and our experiences with Him tell us that He is – then it also means that He’s entirely the wrong person to cross, to annoy, because of how powerful He is. He could wipe us out without even thinking about it. In other words, for some Evangelicals, their relationship is based on fear rather than Love[21]. People who believe that seem to think it’s too good to be true that God just accepts us as we are; surely there must be some sort of threat or fear or something involved? But Jesus demonstrated that no, that’s not the case at all. Jesus’s best friend, John the Apostle, put it like this,”And we have come to know and believe the love that God has for us. God is love; whoever abides in love abides in God, and God in him. In this way, love has been perfected among us, so that we may have confidence on the day of judgment; for in this world we are just like Him. There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. The one who fears has not been perfected in love”. (1Jn4:12 (NLT), emphasis mine) This is pretty straightforward to me, and if you want to choose the opposite, then that’s your loss. But if you dare to believe that although it seems too good to be true, it is actually true that God loves you and is not mad with you. This means, then, that He will not smite you or those you love, like a cosmic crime boss, just because you choose to pick the way of loving others, rather than rejecting them. Those who reject others are amongst those to whom Jesus says, in the Parable of the Sheep and the Goats, “Away from Me, I never knew you!”, because when you rejected the least of these, you rejected Him.
  • Parallel to the fear of God is the fear of Men. Time after time, in the Gospels, Jesus tells his listeners that the opinions of other humans are not important. His teachings against those who pray in public to gain ‘cred’ with onlookers. Those who ostentatiously tip huge amounts of money into the temple coffers to demonstrate their spirituality. And there are others. Paul mentioned it too. And there’s the verse in Proverbs 29:25 which says that,
    “Fear of man will prove to be a snare,
    but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe”
    Refusal to answer my question based on your fear of judgment from other Christians is in opposition to that Proverb. Additionally, 1Cor2:15 says that the spiritual man is subject to no human judgment. So, what on Earth is it that you’re worried about?
    I’m sure that God will continue to come along to your meetings; that He’ll continue to bless you no matter what, simply because He’s like that.
  • Your lack of a reply also tells me how you might cope with people with doctrinal differences – in short, you wouldn’t!
  • You need to learn how to bring out new treasures as well as the old (Mt 13:52). The old really is old; it is tired, dusty and samey, and belongeth back in the nineteenth century where it doth originate. You have drained all the life and love out of your faith; all the vibrancy, and settled for a dull, grey, comfortable sameness where all your boundaries are defined and known. You believe essentially the same things now as they did 100 years ago, back when the mobile device you might be reading this on, right now, would have been seen as sorcery. You need to adjust to society, while giving serious thought to how relevant your interpretation of Scripture is in today’s world. You may not realise this, but many of today’s accepted ‘norms’, both in society and in religion, were once completely unacceptable. Gradually, even Christianity changes in order to ‘allow’ things that weren’t previously ‘allowed’. Failure to change with the times is not a virtue; a praiseworthy ‘sticking to the Scriptures’. It is in fact sticking to the old ways where Scripture actually does not designate such old ways as being ‘correct’ nor does it forbid doing things in new ways. Even deeper than that, the Scripture is fully capable of adapting, and being adapted, to whichever society or time period it finds itself in. What they believed back in the fifteenth century was very different to what we believe now, in just about every aspect of society. To adapt your behaviour and beliefs so that the Scripture is relevant in today’s society is actually to honour it, not to relegate it to irrelevance. This is one of the great beauties of Scripture, and to not allow it to do that is to do it a great disservice.
Concluding comments

And my final conclusion is this: No. That church is not a safe place, either for LGBTQ+ people or, for that matter, for anyone else who is ‘different’. This experiment has exposed red flags galore in this church; even just their simple refusal to answer a single harmless question tells me so much.

No, sooner or later, if you are a person who, for whatever reason, does not fit in, say by being the kind of person who might ask a slightly awkward question, then I can guarantee that you will suffer some kind of spiritual abuse in this church. Maybe not right away, when they want to indoctrinate you in order to ‘keep’ you, during the ‘honeymoon period’, but further down the line; it will happen. Maybe minor abuse, maybe major; the point is it will happen. If they have something to hide, then red flags they be a’flyin’; I’mma stay well away!

The only solution for these churches, if they want to continue to be relevant, is to offer full acceptance in every way, to everyone. In twenty years’ time, people will look back at the attitudes of Christians in this time and say, ‘Why were they so reluctant?’

Grace and Peace to you.

Further Help

If you have been challenged, encouraged or helped by this article, or if you are a member or supporter of the LGBTQ+ community, and you’re wondering if there are indeed churches in the UK who do support LGBTQ+ equality, then please check out the groups linked below to see how they do things. If you’re looking for a local congregation, well even if they don’t have a congregation near you, they may well be able to put you in touch with someone in your area who has similar values. Such churches are more than likely to be accommodating of people with all kinds of ‘differences’. One day, many more churches will do things this way!

Reimagine Church, Nottingham

Oasis Waterloo

 

 

 

Footnotes

Footnotes
1 Although, as I have written in other posts, maybe this was because of my brilliant musical gifting; another Autistic trait! They’d put up with me if it meant I would play the piano for them… 😉
2 On such websites, I also always look for their Safeguarding Policy. I am sad to have to report that such vital information is usually missing from most church websites I have checked out. There have been some I have found, though, that are really quite proud of their safeguarding systems, and they proclaim those systems openly and enthusiastically! And that’s great. 😁 Religious organisations, more than anyone else, should set up safeguarding as a matter of priority, given the strong association between religious organisations and child sexual abuse as well as other forms of abuse. Lack of a safeguarding policy is always a massive red flag to me, either because they haven’t thought of having one (unlikely given today’s litigious climate); they don’t think it’ll ever happen to them (they’re too righteous for that sort of thing ever to happen in their church!); they don’t want to be under someone else’s scrutiny (so, it’s a leadership accountability/power issue); or because it’s actually going on in their midst and they don’t want to prevent it (sick but possible; ’nuff said). Or maybe a combination of the above. I can think of no other reason why a church will not have a publicly available safeguarding policy set out clearly on their website. And that’s pretty poor really. Oh, btw, this church didn’t have one; not that I could find, anyway.
3 It’s ‘potentially contentious’ because, for some, churches, the question I ask will be a non-issue; for others, not so much.
4 The original title for this piece was going to be ‘Hiding Behind the Sofa’; hence the header picture of a terrified bloke who daren’t come out from back there….
5 Check out my essay ‘Thinking In the Box‘ for a previous, true real-life example of this sort of behaviour, although probably nobody died behind the sofa on that particular occasion. But hey, who knows… 😉
6 If you don’t think so, well I’m sorry but I myself will sleep just fine tonight 😉
7 This is partly to protect my mind from the quite frankly offensive sheer ignorance and rudeness displayed by their ignoring my messages – which is at the same time both disgraceful and disgusting. I really don’t understand how ministers of the Gospel could be so rude as to not reply to a perfectly inoffensive question.
8 Well, nearly so; I mean obviously things like child sexual abuse and stuff is a lot worse. But ignoring the messages is in itself a form of abuse, and that’s before I’ve even darkened their doors with my presence!
9 I sometimes think that this is why so many churches just stick to reading and discussing familiar Bible passages, because of the warm and comfortable, familiar feeling it gives them. Which is fine, if that’s what they want, but for me nothing short of the fizzing, solid presence of God will do!
10 They don’t know me, so by any definition I’m a stranger.
11 Interesting how he, quite independently, uses the Litmus Test terminology that I too have adopted! I used it because I am a retired professional pharmaceutical scientist, so it meant something to me at least!
12 I apologise for calling you Shirley, unless of course that is actually your name 😉 Yes, that’s from the classic movie ‘Airplane’ (1980), “Surely you can’t be serious?” “I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley” 🤣
13 I mean here that you don’t want to ignore any important verses that you consider pivotal in forming your doctrines and policies. In practice, however, for most churches this usually turns out to be not so much the ‘whole counsel’ meaning the entire sweep of Scripture, as they claim they mean, but just the verses they have chosen to not ignore. People who claim that they proclaim ‘the whole counsel of God’ never actually do so.
14 All you need to do is to look at the same passage in a number of different English translations of the Bible (I have twelve of these, including a Hebrew and Greek Interlinear, and a Greek-only New Testament Interlinear with a different Greek text; am I a sad man or what!) to see that the wording of the translations (even in the Greek) is slightly different. How then can someone hope to form a cast-iron doctrine on what is essentially a paraphrase of the original-language text, both in wording and possibly even in meaning?
15 This is a standard  doctrine in some (but not all) branches of Evangelicalism, probably based on Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death”, and the nature of the sin required to qualify for that death is not specified simply because all sin pays the same wages: death!
16 And knowing what Evangenitals are like (Evangenitals being Christians with an unhealthy interest in what others do with their private parts! 🤣 ), they are probably sexual ‘sins’.
17 A standard argument to prevent gentle Christians from affirming (well, openly, at any rate!) LGBTQ+ people and their relationships.
18 I have to be fair and say that this is a human trait, not just a Christian one. There are those for whom it appears that their entire purpose in life is simply to judge others. I wouldn’t want to live like that!
19 For the purposes of this thought experiment, let’s say that ‘god hates gays’ is that particular church’s attitude towards gay people; not all of them are like that, but this hypothetical church is!
20 And it will be all of them; the entire church will know within a matter of minutes. Church gossip is one of the most lethal and unstoppable forces in the Universe!
21 And they’ll justify that by claiming that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. That’s not quite what that verse means….

Do Not Fear the Gate-keepers – Reblog

This entry is part 24 of 30 in the series The Problems of Evangelicalism

One of the things that happens when people believe something very strongly – whether that’s something religious, political, scientific, pseudo-scientific, or even just a belief about life in general – is that they hold it closely and defend it against all comers[1]. And that’s perfectly natural; humans construct belief systems and knowledge systems in order to feel more secure in what is really a very uncertain world. If something (or someone) comes along and threatens that perceived security which is engendered by those belief systems, then they themselves feel threatened.

Where the problem lies with this, at least in terms of the many denominations of the Christian faith – groups of people who all profess to believe in Jesus of Nazareth, but all believing slightly different things from other such groups – is when those people holding those beliefs insist that everyone else’s beliefs are somehow ‘wrong’, and that they themselves – and only them – have it all right and correct. And that means that their own belief system indirectly depends on someone else’s belief system being wrong. So the trouble begins when they go on to tell others just how wrong those others are. And this is part of the Religious Spirit, as I describe in this article.

Sometimes, though, the very worst of these people appear on forums and blast those with whom they don’t agree. Not only does this constitute the dreaded ‘Bad Witness‘!, in that it tarnishes God’s ‘reputation’ amongst unbelievers[2] but also it damages their chances of coming to a close Relationship with God. He has His ways around this, of course, but it’s not good when people carry baggage into that Relationship that they picked up even before they were believers due to the efforts of those of the Religious spirit. And yes, you’ve guessed it: most of these people identify as Evangelicals!

Anyway, one of the worst things these people do is to try and appear to be able to decide who is ‘in’ and who is ‘out’. Who is ‘saved’ and who is not ‘saved’. Which is quite a stretch for anyone, if you ask me!

And so I go into this behaviour in full detail in the following article, which I first published in December, 2016 – but which is still relevant today, hence the reblog. I hope it blesses you!


I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. (John 10:9)

As my regular readers will know, I very often contribute on forums where some of the worst excesses of Christian judgementalism can be seen. On those forums, there are some pretty nasty examples of hard-line, dogmatic religious types who are so harsh and unbending that they portray a horrible image of my Father God. And so, I go on the forums in order to show the hurting, the true seekers, the rejected of society, that not all those who profess to follow Jesus Christ are harsh and ungracious. I go on there to demonstrate the gentleness[3] of Jesus to those who are sinking in the mire of everyday drudgery and hopelessness. I go on there to show people that God loves them, exactly as they are, and that He loves them in spite of everything that they think stands in between them and Him; everything that would cause their sensitive consciences to believe that they are not welcome in His Presence – when in actuality, they are fully welcome there. In short, I go on there to counter the nastiness exhibited by those who claim to be working ‘from the Scriptures’, and yet don’t even come close to exhibiting the character of the Christ revealed in those Scriptures. And I have to say that sometimes it’s hard to be gracious and gentle with these people, whom God also loves, but I do the best I can.

So of course I come under heavy fire from the harsh and judgemental. Because I do not agree with what they preach, and indeed I actively stand against it, I too become ‘unacceptable’ in the eyes of people I don’t even know; unacceptable both to them, and, they hasten to tell me, to god as well. No doubt the words ‘heresy’ and ‘blasphemy’ have featured in replies to my comments more than happens to most people! It seems that some would rather espouse a gospel of harshness and nastiness than one of love, joy, peace and all the other fruits of the Spirit. And, to be honest, sometimes this type of action is damaging; occasionally I need to take a break from the battle and recharge.

Well, this article is about why, despite their vitriol, I am not afraid of these people, and also about why you in your turn need not be afraid of them either.

Gentle soul, honest seeker after Truth, be encouraged!

Let me tell you that nothing that these people can say can change the reality of God’s love for you, nor can they change the passion with which He seeks you – although by the way they talk (well, ok, write!), anyone would think that they are the people who decide who ‘gets into heaven’ or whatever. (Actually writing that down in black on white re-emphasises for me how ludicrous that statement actually is!).

I do believe that they like to think of themselves as ‘God’s Gate-Keepers’! – but we do not need to be afraid of them! They hold no power to do the things that their writing suggests they imagine they can do!

Remember that these people have neither the right nor the mandate to be God’s ‘Receptionists’ – people who would like nothing better than to screen others in order to determine their acceptability as people who are/are not allowed into God’s Presence. What I am saying is that, well-meaning and sincere though some of these people may be, they are not the Gate-Keepers.

Probably the principal harm that they can do is that they ‘shut the doors of heaven in men’s faces’; they make it appear as if it is impossible to please God – except, of course, by following their particular set of Rules and Requirements – and thus put people off following their hearts’ desires and seeking God. Their efforts at ‘evangelism’ by pointing out ordinary folks’ ‘sin’ actually puts their victims off following a path of faith, when actually they were quite amenable to the idea before they met these people! The other main harm they do is to give others a really bad idea of what god is like; to outsiders, their god looks vicious, mean and nasty! And who would want to follow a god like that?

This is all, to my mind, completely reprehensible, because the Christian Life is so full of blessing, and the Gate-Keepers are denying that blessing to those whom they damage with their harsh attitudes.

These are indeed the people of whom Jesus said, “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to”. (Mt23:13)

So, let me tell you again that these people are not the Gate-Keepers. Jesus said of Himself, “I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved [kept safe]. They will come in and go out, and find pasture” (Jn 10:9).

Nobody can take away God’s call on your life: “However, those the Father has given me will come to me, and I will never reject them” (Jn 6:37 NLT). As a believer, your life is “…hidden with Christ in God” (Col 3:3) – it is kept safe where thieves cannot “…break in and steal” (Mt 6:19). At worst, all they can do is hurt you in earthly terms, as Jesus said in Lk 12:4, “I tell you, My friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more”. Jesus was not talking here only about unbelievers who persecute Christians; He was also talking about anyone who tries to steal your assurance of salvation, including, and especially, other believers. No one else is ‘religious’ enough to even want to steal your assurance! And that, then, is the other major harm that these people do.

But the truth of the matter is this: if you have a relationship with Jesus Christ, then no one can take that away from you, no matter how much they might try to devalue your faith and beliefs. They can quote scripture at you all they like but you know, you know that you’re safe. And there ain’t a thing they can do about it.

Let me say it again: you do not need to pay any heed to what these people say. You do not need to be afraid of them. They have neither power nor authority over you. Your salvation depends on Jesus, not on pleasing men; giving them cause to have a good opinion of you. The fear of man has to do with voluntarily placing the ownership of our life in the hands of men. We change our behaviour in order to be accepted. Well, there’s no need to do that, not ever. It’s not about pleasing men at all, not even other believers who want you to conform. Your life belongs to God, not to the Gate-Keepers. Proverbs 29:25 (KJV) says that “The fear of man bringeth a snare but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe” Put in more modern English, the Good News Bible says, “It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you, but if you trust the Lord, you are safe” (Prov 29:25 (GNB))

And finally, to me, the crowning verse is this. In 1Cor2:15, in the middle of a treatise on handling others’ insistence on ‘doctrinal correctness’, St. Paul says that:

Did you see that? If you are a spiritual person, that is, guided by the Holy Spirit, you can do all the thinking and reasoning about your beliefs, thinking things through, coming up with answers, and learning new things about God, and nobody – nobody! – can judge you. You are simply not subject to others’ judgement – period.

Maybe none of this makes any sense to you; maybe you have never encountered one of these people, at least not on the forums. But I’d wager you will have encountered them in ‘real life’. Maybe you’ve heard certain street preachers (And I’m not tarring them all with the same brush here!) saying harsh things about you being a ‘sinner’, or maybe someone has knocked on your door, and under the pleasant veneer you have detected a hard, unbending religion. Maybe you’re in a church where the leadership is strict and authoritarian, and permits neither questions nor deviation from the ‘norm’. Or maybe there’s someone at your place of work who tells you that as far as God is concerned, your best is simply not good enough and is worthless in eternal terms. You see, we are all subjected to these kinds of people, and I’m here to tell you today that you do not need to take any notice of them, whether you are a believer or not.

Don’t get me wrong; I firmly believe that these ‘harsh’ people are people who believe in, and love the Lord Jesus Christ. I also firmly believe though, that they are acting from a tragically misguided[4]) view of God (again, as detailed in this article) and that their actions are based mainly on a desire to see people believe in what they see as a ‘right doctrine’. In other words, they want others to live their religion in the same way as our harsh friends do. But until God reveals more of His loveliness, His gentleness and His mercy to these people, they simply will not be able to see it, so blinded are they to God’s goodness; blinded indeed by their religion. Doctrine has become more important then walking with Jesus. This is why I try to be gentle with them; they are simply wayward children who do not understand. There is more on this in this article, which in general is themed similarly to this one.

No, the reason I wrote this present article was to encourage those who have been attacked by these people and (as is usual in these situations) had their faith and/or ‘salvation status’ called into question. You’ve been told you are an heretic; you have been told these are ‘demonic lies’ and that you are ‘in danger of hell fire’, that you are in gross error and you need to change your ways, and that it’s especially bad because you are publishing these ‘lies’ in the public domain for everyone to see. I know the arguments and the threats of these people; I have seen them so many times and they are boringly familiar.

But be encouraged! God thinks so much more highly of you than you can possibly imagine, and He has His best for you in your life no matter what the Gate-Keepers would like to say. Remember they can’t touch your salvation; they may rock your boat, but only if you let them by taking notice of their threats.

Remember this: These people are NOT the Gate-Keepers. Your salvation is safe and secure in Christ, and their words mean absolutely nothing!  Isn’t that great?

Do Not Fear the Gate-Keepers!

 


 

 

Footnotes

Footnotes
1 There is, or at least there should be, an exception to this in that most actual, properly-trained scientists will consider even contrary evidence and adjust their ideas accordingly.
2 Not that God needs His reputation to remain intact of course; God is perfectly capable of defending His own reputation. The effect it does have, though, is to put people off seeking Him because His purported followers portray Him as being like they are: judgmental, condemning, yes cruel, and just in general no fun to be around.
3 I have a particular friend on one forum who refers to me as his ‘gentle Anglican friend’. This is a guy who is an excellent theologian and gives the online Pharisees ‘what for’ (as we say in Yorkshire) in similar terms to how they do it. We kind-of do a ‘good cop, bad cop’ routine 😉
4 I use the term ‘misguided’ in its literal sense: these people have indeed been mis-guided by others who have taught them the harsh doctrines they too have been raised on. These beliefs get passed on from one generation of believers to another, to the detriment of the quality of life of those who live by those beliefs. Jesus came to break the cycle of harsh, unbending, dogmatic religion, which was why He went so hard on the Pharisees of His day – these were the harsh doctrinal types in those days. Notice also how Jesus was a ‘Pharisee magnet’ – because He was teaching ideas of freedom from religious Rules, the Pharisees simply had to take Him to task on it. They just couldn’t leave it – isn’t that exactly the same as these people on the forums, then? :

Is it a Sin to be Weird?

A Classic Illustration of Sin Obsession.
And its cure.

This was a post in a social media group for autistic Christians. Most of the Christians whose posts I read in that group are Evangelicals, and the discussion is very often about ‘sin’. What is a sin, what is not a sin, what is forgiven, when is it not forgiven, what about the ‘unforgivable sin’, all that sort of thing.

In some ways, this is a typical absolutist autistic comment in a faith already recognised for its black-and-white thinking and attitudes, and which is probably not helped by the group being autistic people; one common trait among autistic people is that of black-and-white thinking, which dovetails nicely with culty Evangelical thinking. But still the principle holds: sin-obsession, even to the point of being worried that an aspect of one’s personality is in and of itself a ‘sin’, sin-obsession itself is a very real problem and is a major trip hazard for neurodivergent and neurotypical people alike when it comes to their faith walk. And so, even neurotypicals among my readership may gain some benefit from considering this question with me today.

Nevertheless, the post was genuine, and reflected to me the heart cry of a person who is struggling with ‘sin’ and also struggling with his uniqueness in his autism. As autistic, neurodivergent people, we are different – different from non-autistic (neurotypical (NT) people) – but we are also different from each other. No two autistic people have the same wiring in their brains, despite them both being autistic. To be autistic is, in many ways, to be alone with your uniqueness. Personally, I actually like being like that, but many autistic people struggle with it. And I get that. But, in short, we are all weird; each of us uniquely so.

Of course, there are no Bible verses about ‘weirdness’, nor about it being a ‘sin’. In fact, the Bible is actually strangely non-specific about ‘sin’ in its pages; rarely is a particular action or behaviour identified as ‘sinful’, and in fact the whole concept of ‘sin’ is not clearly explained at all.

But anyway, I saw here an opportunity to encourage the original poster (the ‘OP’), as did others in the group. All of the answers that expressed an opinion said that ‘No’, it is not a ‘sin’ to be weird. I especially liked a comment where the person said,

No Bible verse, but I’m coming here to say that “weird” is needed to be a space for other “weird” people to be welcoming and connected to as they embrace one another as brothers and sisters in Christ. We are a spectrum of humanity, and I think God loves that! And when Jesus came here, he was beyond “weird” in terms of not conforming to what was expected of Him at the time. It got Him crucified. So weird in itself, no not a sin as long as your weird isn’t to sin”.

And so that person kind of turned it around, from it being a sin to be weird, to saying that the only sin would be if your weirdness made you sin. Or something like that. And also, more importantly, gave it a positive feel by giving it a context of humanity. Very nicely done!

But, naturally, I, with of course my own brand of autism, noted that the emphasis in people’s comments was, while rightly being on the question itself, was also quite heavily on ‘sin’ too[1], which, as we know, is pretty typical for sin-obsessed Christians. And so I thought I’d put in my two penn’orth, with an emphasis on freedom from the worry of sin and the benefit of that mindset. Unlike my normal practice, I also gave quite a few Scripture references[2]. This was because a) the OP asked for Bible verses; and b) I was fully aware that my audience would comprise many people who would need Scripture verses for every. damn. thing. else they wouldn’t listen. Plus, the teaching I gave was the sort of thing that is hard for many Christians to accept (e.g. Jn 6:60; 2Pet 3:16), and so, the more I could back it up with Scripture, the more they’d benefit from it. I also phrased it to make it clear that although I have some solid ideas, I too am on a learning journey. At least, I hope that’s how it came across, anyway. Here’s what I wrote:

Is it a Sin to be Weird? 

No. It’s not. And there doesn’t need to be a Bible verse for that!

However, let me give you, as a Bible verse, a possible interpretation of Hebrews 12:1, ‘Let us throw off the sin that so easily entangles…’.

I now interpret that to mean that it’s not the sin itself that entangles, like addiction or compulsive behaviour or similar. That is part of it, yes. But my current understanding of that passage – which understanding may not be for everyone, I appreciate – is that it is the obsession with sin itself that is the entanglement. (There is actually a modern translation – the Mirror Translation – that translates it like this: “As with an athlete who is determined to win, it would be silly to carry any baggage of the old law-system that would weigh one down. Make sure you do not get your feet clogged up with sin-consciousness.”)[3] And by this, I mean that if we are sin-conscious all the time, then there is no room in our hearts for the ‘focus your thoughts on things above’ (Col 3:2), nor for the ‘Whatever is true, noble…think on these things’ (Phil 4:8).

Focusing on these higher things, especially according to the Colossians verse (Col 3:2) is our privilege and indeed our right, resulting as it does from our position as people raised up in Christ and seated with Him in heavenly places. Being sin-conscious – being constantly fretting about whether we are sinning or not in any particular situation – is one of the main things that cripples Christians from walking in the Spirit; such people are so sin-conscious that there is no room for them to be Christ-conscious. The verse ‘consider yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus’ (Rom 6:11) is referring to exactly that. We were made to walk free in the forgiveness of the Cross: all sin, past, present and future is forgiven. That’s what ‘It is finished!’ (John 19:30) means, and it’s also what ‘I will remember their sin no more’ (Heb 8:12) means too.

So the question is not so much, ‘Is [insert action of choice] a sin?’, but more ‘Where are we going together today, Jesus?’. One is a set of rules. The other is a way of life. I know which way I’d rather go.

Actually, on further consideration, there actually are a couple of Bible verses for you, on the back of what I wrote above. The first is the classic Romans 8:1, that “…there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”. If you are in Christ Jesus – and remember that it is God Who has placed you in Christ (2Cor 1:21), not you, so that’s a relief! – then there is no condemnation for you. So whether ‘being weird’ is a sin or not, that’s not the point any more; the point is that no matter what, if you are in Christ then there’s no condemnation. The second verse is in Romans 14:17, that the Kingdom of God is not about food or drink, but about righteousness, peace and joy in the Spirit.

Again, as I said above, being part of the Kingdom is not about following rules – “do not handle! do not taste! Do not touch!” (Col 2:21) but about what we already have in Christ. All that a sin preoccupation does is to distract from, and dilute, who we are in Christ!

Do you see the contrast? Rules about unclean food and things are the old wineskin; freedom in Christ is about realising the righteousness we already have in Christ, the peace that He gives, and the joy of the Holy Spirit. It’s life in a different dimension; rather than living to please the Law and follow its rules, we leave all that behind and just live for Him. And that’s why the old wineskin will burst; it cannot contain a freedom as huge as that!

People sometimes ask me (usually in an accusatory tone!), ‘So then, do you still sin?’ And my answer is invariably, ‘I don’t know! It’s been a while since I looked!’ I’m too caught up with following Jesus to worry about that. That’s why He set me free from it, so I could follow Him without having to worry about things like that. That’s what ‘freedom from sin’ actually means. If God has forgotten my sins (Jer 31:34, Heb 8:12), then why should I dredge them back up again?

And by walking in the Spirit, not thinking about sin or being concerned by it, that means that I do not fulfill the desires of the flesh (Gal 5:16). Walking in the freedom of the children of God (Rom 8:21) means that sin is no longer a problem because I am dead to it; conversely, I am however alive to God in Christ Jesus (Rom 6:11), hallelujah! It is Grace that teaches us to say no to ungodly desires (Titus 2:11-12) and by walking in that Grace which includes the free gift of God’s perpetual forgiveness (Jude 24), sin is no longer our natural way of life. A new heart He has given us! (Ez 36:26; 2Cor 5:17)


Well, that’s what I said. So far, no-one has reacted in any way to the post, but as usual I am not discouraged by this! The people who needed to see it; those who needed to hear its message, will have done so and will have been blessed. In fact, I would estimate that some people are afraid to react positively in public to that sort of teaching, because it’s not exactly mainstream with regards to the belief structures of the group as a whole. And that’s ok. It is nevertheless a viewpoint that is fuly supported by Scripture, and, for those who have the ears to hear, it will be a source of great blessing.

And, of course, there’s you, my readers, seeing this here today. Only when I stand before Him will I know how many people have been helped by what I shared with the autistic brother that day, and by my re-sharing it on here.

Grace and Peace to you all!


I haven’t included this article in the series, ‘The Problems of Evangelicalism‘, because ‘sin-fixation’ isn’t a problem which is confined only to that branch of Christianity. It features heavily in it, of course, but it’s pretty widespread in the faith as a whole. So I thought I’d leave it more open than just saying this is an Evangelical quirk; it’s not.

Footnotes

Footnotes
1 Yes, I do realise that ‘sin’ was part of the question and therefore valid for comment!
2 Hopefully, that wasn’t proof-texting, because I wasn’t trying to prove things, just to support. Proof texting is where someone rips a verse out of context in order to force a point of view; this was much more gentle than that. But I’ll let you be the judge!
3 Hence my use of an athlete sprinting, as my header picture!