Category Archives: Ministry

Forgiveness After Religious/Spiritual Abuse

Insights, Ministry, Others' stuff

Some of my more recent articles have been studies concerning religious abuse. Broadly speaking, this could be thought of any kind of non-beneficial – but, more usually, actually harmful – ‘input’ into a person’s life from religious people, which is uninvited, unwanted/unwelcome and/or unexpected. It has considerable overlap with spiritual abuse, and the two are often closely associated. Spiritual abuse, to me, is where someone’s spirit – their personality, their will to live, their enthusiasm for life, all that kind of thing – is damaged by others. And it will come as no surprise, then, that spiritual abuse is very often a result of religious abuse.

So, religious abuse could be anything from the Jehovah’s Witnesses (or other religious types) turning up on your doorstep and giving you grief by disrupting your peace and your privacy; maybe deadly, soul-destroying public shaming and/or criticism; or right up to financial, emotional and/or sexual abuse by leadership or indeed anyone else in a religious group or someone who claims spiritual authority over a person.

Note that spiritual abuse does not have to take place in a religious setting. It can also occur in a toxic marital or friendship scenario; basically the issue is a breach of trust, leading to spiritual damage.

And it’s sickening. On so many levels, it’s sickening.

As part of my background reading while researching this huge topic – researching in general, not with regard to my writing – I picked up an excellent eBook the other day entitled, “Broken Trust: A practical guide to identify and recover from toxic faith, toxic church, and spiritual abuse’ by F. Remy Diederich.

Here are the links for the book on Amazon UK and Amazon USA

(I’ll do a mini-review of the book at the end of this article).

 

 

In the book, Remy writes an excellent chapter on how to overcome the anger that the abuse has caused. Embedded in that concept is an excellent section on forgiveness. I have written on forgiveness before, but this post offers you insight into forgiveness in the context of religious/spiritual abuse; this was not specifically covered in my previous article.

So here is Remy’s perspective on forgiveness in the context of religious/spiritual abuse – although of course it can also be applied in other fields too. My thanks to Remy for his kind and gracious permission to quote his work!

Moving to Forgiveness

Once your anger has done its work (i.e. moved you to confront the abuse or flee it), lay it to rest. It’s served its purpose. Let it go. We call that forgiveness.

Sometimes people say, “Don’t forgive too quickly.” I understand what they mean, but this statement tells me they don’t understand biblical forgiveness. Their idea of forgiveness has too much packed into it. Forgiveness simply means to “give up the right to get even,” period. No payback. That can happen immediately with no qualifiers.

Let me clarify what forgiveness is by telling you what it isn’t.

1. Forgiveness isn’t forgetting.   Forgiveness requires remembering the wrong that was done to you, not forgetting it. Surprisingly, forgiveness requires blaming your offender. You can’t forgive someone unless you first assign blame for what they did wrong. You can forget minor offenses. But you can’t forget deep wounds. When you’ve been deeply wounded, you need something stronger than forgetfulness. You need forgiveness. Forgiveness is what’s required when you can’t forget what’s been done to you.

2. Forgiveness isn’t excusing.   Sometimes your offender will insist that you forgive them for offending them and let it go, implying this is the biblical thing to do. They expect this from you because they have minimized their offense and dismissed it as insignificant. They want you to do the same: act like it never happened. But that’s not forgiveness. Forgiveness means to “give up the right to get even.” [1] You can do that without lessening the seriousness of what your offender did to you. You can forgive and still hold them accountable to make amends. Let them know how much they hurt you and what you expect from them. But you can also let them know that you will not retaliate.

3. Forgiveness isn’t trusting.   Offenders often want to quickly smooth things over so you will not withhold anything from them. “Let’s put that behind us and move on,” they say, implying that everything is good now and you can resume the relationship as it was. Forgiveness allows you to put the offence behind you, but trust is necessary to move the relationship forward. Rebuilding trust takes time. It’s important to separate forgiveness from trust. Confusing these two leads to many problems. Abusers will try to guilt you into trusting them prematurely by confusing trust with forgiveness. They’ll say, “You have to trust me. The Bible tells us to forgive.” Forgive, yes. Trust, no. It’s foolish to trust those who have broken trust with you. Jesus told us to be “as wise as serpents and harmless as doves, (Matthew 10:16). To be harmless means we don’t seek revenge, but wisdom tells us not to trust people who haven’t earned it. They are welcome to rebuild our trust, but we shouldn’t offer it for free. Forgiveness is free. Trust is earned. Forgiveness is immediate. Trust takes time. If trust can’t be rebuilt, the relationship must change form. Don’t be intimidated into trusting someone until they’ve earned it.

4. Forgiveness isn’t reunion.   Just because I forgive you, I am under no obligation to resume our relationship. As Lewis Smedes once said, “forgiving has no strings attached… reunion has several strings attached.”[2] That means that if you don’t rebuild trust with me, we will not be able to continue our relationship as it once was.

5. Forgiveness isn’t conditional. Forgiveness shouldn’t be based on what the other person does. For example, saying, “If you jump through my hoops, then I’ll forgive you,” is conditional. Forgiveness is unconditional. That’s important to remember because if your forgiveness is conditional, then your offender has control over you. What I mean is, if you insist on their changing before you forgive them, then what if they refuse to change? They have painted you into a corner. You are stuck, unable to forgive because you set yourself up to fail. Do you really want to give your offender that kind of control over your life? When you forgive unconditionally, no-one can manipulate you anymore. You are free to move on with your life.

6. Forgiveness isn’t an emotion.   People often equate forgiveness with a warm and fuzzy emotion. When they don’t have that feeling, they assume they can’t, or shouldn’t, forgive. But forgiveness has nothing to do with your emotions. It’s an act of the will. You choose to forgive because it’s the right thing to do. Sometimes it takes your forgiveness to activate positive emotions.

There we go. Ripped completely out ot its context, of course, but I think the principles expressed in those paragraphs are capable of standing alone, and still have meaning and usefulness.

Thanks again, Remy!

Mini-Review of ‘Broken Trust’ by F. Remy Diederich

Remy’s style is gentle, compassionate, kind and full of Grace. In the book, he addresses virtually all aspects of this important and complex topic, but without making it heavy and unreadable.

In a completely non-judgmental style, extended towards both the victims and the perpetrators, he explores the nature, causes, effects and possible solutions for toxic faith and spiritual abuse.

The four main sections cover:
1: Defining, identifying and recognising toxic faith and spiritual abuse
2: Practical steps to deal with spiritual abuse – confrontation and its implications
3: Recovery from spiritual abuse, covering many factors
4: How to rescue your faith community from spiritual abuse

Within each section, there are chapters addressing specific factors, each of which is dealt with in a concise and practical, yet gentle and understanding manner. Something that is not mentioned in the above section list is that he also offers practical steps on how to find a new fellowship, should the reader wish to do so.

The book addresses, in detail, the personal angle on every topic. So, Remy speaks to the victims, to their immediate family and friends, and to the congregation as a whole. He even speaks constructively to the perpetrators; how they can identify the problems they have had a hand in, how they can make amends, how they can restore trust – or at least make a go of it. And yet I would not say that Remy issues direct advice as such, but more the principles under which the reader can make their own decisions. For some kinds of abuse survivors, their personal autonomy is one of the things they lost during the abuse, and so he helps them make their own decisions rather than offering advice, which would essentially be telling them what to do – and that’s what they are recovering from. This is a subtle and yet vital principle that is held to in this book.

What I’m saying is that I’m aware of no aspect of spiritual abuse that Remy doesn’t address, with the sole exception of Clergy Sexual Abuse (CSA), which he admits he has no experience of dealing with in the situations he has been in. And to me, that adds even more to the book; because he acknowledges his lack of knowledge and experience in dealing with CSA issues, it makes his writing on the areas he does know about all the more credible.

I have to say that I have never read a book quite like this one, which deals with such a potentially painful and sensitive subject in such a practical and gentle way, making it highly effective. Remy’s love for God and for his congregation, along with his deep compassion for his readers, and other unknown victims of spiritual abuse, shines through brilliantly. You are fully aware that you’re in good hands.

In his acknowledgements, Remy thanks his group of abuse survivors who have provided material, comments and anecdotes, and have also provided feedback for him on how to pitch the tone of various parts of the book. And it shows. It’s almost as if it has been written just for those people – which in a way, it has – but because abuse survivors, even though they each have unique stories to tell, also have a lot of experiences in common, the book identifies with the reader/survivor’s situation in a way that I haven’t seen before. And, as I’ve already said, that makes it highly effective.

If you can only afford one book on how to cope with spiritual abuse and toxic churches, then this is the one to buy. I cannot recommend it highly enough.

Footnotes

Footnotes
⇧1 Adopted from Lewis Smedes: The Art of Forgiving (Ballantyne Books)
⇧2 ibid, p.47

The White Throne Judgment

Insights, Ministry, Others' stuff
“I wish that it wasn’t called “The White Throne Judgement” the way it describes it. The way it’s been described.
“We each stand before God. Who weighs every thing we have done in life. And determines our reward.
“It sounds terrifying. To be before everyone. And have them see my life. To be on display.
“And the word judgement just seems so ominous.
“It makes me scared. Like nothing. No matter how hard I try here on earth. There will be nothing besides disappointment”.

The above is a quotation from a very worried Christian lady, writing it as a post in a Facebook group I am in. And this present piece is intended to encourage any who find themselves in a similar place with regards to worry about any future judgment[1].

There is a concept in some Christian circles called the ‘Great White Throne’ Judgment. It’s based on the passage in Revelation 20:11ff which says,

“Then I saw a large white throne and the one who was seated on it; the earth and the heaven fled from his presence, and no place was found for them. And I saw the dead, the great and the small, standing before the throne. Then books were opened, and another book was opened—the book of life. So the dead were judged by what was written in the books, according to their deeds”.

And it goes on to say that anyone whose name was not found in the Lamb’s Book of Life, etc. etc. will be thrown into the ‘lake of fire’. Or something.

To give just one illustration of how many unfounded doctrines are based on this section of Scripture, let’s just consider this one point: that there are some who say that this judgment is only for unbelievers. Well, in its defence, the passage does not say this at all, nor do the following verses; quite the opposite in fact, if you study them correctly. So straight away we can see that the passage, and its modern interpretation, is not only very dangerous in terms of emotional health, but it also has the potential for massive misinterpretation by believers of all flavours. And I won’t even give them the benefit of the doubt and say they are ‘well-meaning’ believers, either, because usually their objective is to instill fear in their readers/listeners. Which, when we are dealing with a God of Love (1Jn4:8b), in Whom there is no darkness (1Jn1:5), and Whose perfect Love drives out fear, (1Jn4:18) has to be a non-starter.

So.

Let’s just say that I noticed the cry of distress in my sister’s Facebook posting and, amongst other gentle-hearted believers, I too tried to add my version of comfort to the help she was being given.

Here was my first response:

“I make light of the White Throne Judgment for two reasons:

1) It is an exaggeration made up by vicious people who want Christians to live in fear, extrapolated from a single, obscure verse (Rev 20:11ff) in the most obscure book of the Bible*, and

2) A great white throne is actually a toilet[2], so I really can’t take it seriously like, ever.

*Regarding Revelation, I was made aware of this caveat by a friend on FB (whom I am still badgering for the original reference):

‘[The early church fathers, when considering whether to include the book of Revelation into the canon], decided NOT TO DO IT without the following strict conditions: 1) It was not to be used for any major doctrine or in any liturgy of the church; 2) It did not have the canonical authority of the other New Testament writings; and 3) It was never to be taken literally in any way, but only metaphorically, as an encouragement for Christians about to undergo major persecution and bloodshed’.[3]

“Whether or not this information is apocryphal, I do think it is a reasonable way of interpreting any passage in Revelation, especially since it is obviously written in an Apocalyptic style which means it is essentially a cryptic message written for those who were originally to receive it. And they would have understood the cryptic meaning. For us, nearly 2,000 years later, any exegesis of the book must at least take that factor into account and, bringing us back to that original quote, our application of the book must be done with that in mind. Note that I am not suggesting, even for a microsecond, that Revelation should not be in the canon; far from it. But, to me, those three principles, supposedly given by the early Church Fathers, should be borne in mind. Especially since this is the only book in the canon where we find almost blasphemous caricatures of Jesus, and his purported horrific end-time activities, that do not fit even slightly with the rest of the New Testament’s accounts of Him”.

I also wrote this in a separate comment, after further pondering:

“There is no Scripture that says that your entire life will be played back in IMAX quality for everyone to see. Fearmongering preachers have tried to twist Jesus’s words about ‘nothing shall remain hidden’ in order to scare people into thinking this…could I suggest that ‘by their fruits you shall know them’? If those thoughts are causing you worry and sadness and fear, then those thoughts are not from God? Therefore, the people who put them there were not speaking words from God.

As a believing Christian for whom Jesus died and dealt with your ‘sin’, could it be that those sins have been removed forever, as far as the east is from the west, and that God shall ‘remember your sins no more’?

Yes! That’s all true! Why should you live in fear, which perfect love casts out? Why let the curse laid on you all those years ago, by those fear-selling preachers, why let it dominate your life now? Walk free of it, sister. The part in Hebrews 12:1, where it refers to the ‘sin that so easily entangles’, well I believe that this passage is referring to the entanglement caused by the constant fretting and worrying about ‘sin’; ‘Did I do something wrong today?’ and so on[4]. You are allowed, nay, you are required to throw off that worrying about ‘sin’.

Let not the sin-police take away your peace. Don’t listen to the accuser, who also wants to steal, kill and destroy: Steal your peace, kill your joy, and destroy your freedom. Don’t listen to him”.

And I think there is a lot more to be said, too, but I didn’t say it. Instead, let me finish by quoting another dear sister on that thread who was equally encouraging, but from a different angle:


“I am curious, what are you basing the idea that everyone would see all that [having the life on display].

I have pondered that moment a lot. But never put that angle on it. I tend to think we cannot fully project what that will be. I usually project it as me before God, & it’s my mind/soul that is enlightened, & sees myself fully as God always has. A major paradigm shift that is not possible here in this life.
 
If I do ponder other souls present in heaven I recall that they will also have been changed by seeing themselves & by extension others as God sees them. None of us will have our limited prejudices we do now. I think humility would be the overriding attitude of all in the Kingdom of Heaven. Pride, & our limited knowledge really does prejudice & limit everyone’s thinking & perspectives here. That won’t be an issue there. Whatever people do see & know would be tempered by seeing themselves & their own life in God’s view.
I my life experience the more clearly I see myself in truth that helps me be more empathetic with others shortcomings.
 
But again I have my doubts others would be so privy to our own judgment before God. I would rather not know all that about everyone. I just have a hard time believing that shame or guilt lasts long in the presence of God. It would be quickly consumed leaving redemption & love in its place. I do want to build up unconditional love, goodness, all the fruit of the Spirit in myself because I think that is what survives before the all consuming presence of God. I pretty much know I will not perfect that in this life.
 
So many people for centuries have tried to control others by using guilt & shame to attempt to control behavior. I see that as a failing in the Church. It is a failing that many of the best theologians have discussed throughout time. Some Prophets & Rabbis even before Christ had a glimpse of this truth.
 
I believe there has been this “Continuing Grace of the Gospel of Jesus Christ” in play since he was physically here. There is always this controlling element out there pushing to bring condemnation back onto us. Then there is another element that pushes us to grow past that attitude & live with God in full control in our hearts. That pushes for more freedom of the believer. It goes back & forth, but for instance look at how much & how incredibly brutal the Ancient World was in the use of capital punishment. Not just death but torturous death on the idea of setting fear of punishment onto people.
 
Statistically today we have hard data that corporal punishment is not an effective deterrent. Reform, treatment for mental & behavioral health & retraining has a stronger effect, but there is no perfect system certainly not yet.
 
I think shame & laying guilt into others is highly ineffective as it never deals with the cause. But we are surrounded by control freaks who believe heavily in it. True guilt when we have it, tends to motivate us to change. We might struggle with that in the process. Shame always gets in the way of real growth & repentance. God is more interested in true guilt. Evil wants us mired in shame & feeling incapable of change. This is not direct onto the specific topic of our judgement. But this issue of shame versus true clear guilt plays into how we tend to see that Judgement.
 
People put shame onto us for being different, for things they perceive as flaws, but every flaw has a flip side that is a strength to it that needs redirected. Often people shame us for things that are not a flaw at all. It’s just something they are ignorant about as a rule.
 
My goal for 3 decades now has been to throw off shame & false guilt laid on me by other people. I have found many aspects of myself that either need treatment or support, but with treatment & support have strength that has always been there. But for a good portion of my life I felt shame about my strengths because they were different than the expected norms. That is not my fault. That is societies ignorance in play. If people persist in ignorance once something like the autism spectrum is concerned they are in the wrong.
 
I am still intimidated at the idea of standing before an all-knowing God. But my confidence in how he loves me, made me with strengths & even delights in me at times has been mostly growing deeper & stronger.
 
I do go through tough times that really test that a lot. But often come out understanding God’s perspective better & his perspective is just a relief once I grasp it than what I projected it to be. I think wherever I am at the moment in that process the judgement will be more of a stripping away of things that have weighed me down, & a healing. More like a diagnosis & treatment for my soul.”
 

Wow. Well, that’s a lot to think about and take on board, so I’ll leave it there. But I sincerely hope that this piece has encouraged you, especially if you were in any way in fear of judgment. There is no room for fear in the Gospel; none at all. Walk free of it!

Grace and Peace to you

Footnotes

Footnotes
⇧1 I believe that the ‘Judgment of God’ that the Bible speaks of is actually a Heavenly judgment of restoration and relationship, not one of wrath and punishment.
⇧2 Hence, my use of a toilet for the header image for this post. Well, I think it’s funny, at least 😉
⇧3 I have quoted this before, in my article ‘Apocalypse‘
⇧4 I once preached a sermon on this very topic; the reference is here

GAN TV – Grace Awakening Network

Ministry, Others' stuff

I want to let you know about a completely free online TV channel called ‘Grace Awakening Network TV’

On this channel, you get completely free content[1] consisting of videos made by people who have experienced the Grace Walk[2]. I’m not into name dropping, and I won’t do it here. However, you may have heard of some of the people on the GAN channel, and there is a list of the participants on the first page.

You can click the graphic below to get to the channel:

I’d suggest that if you are already walking in Grace, or you are looking into the idea, or even researching the concept, then you will get lots of information and encouragement from listening to the speakers on there. You will need to sign up for a username and password, but you will not need anything like payment details or anything like that. Not all the speakers will jive with you. I personally was watching it when a bloke came on who started shouting. There’s never any need for that sort of behaviour, so I skipped him and went on to another speaker. Plus there are some whose ideas you may not agree with, such is the spectrum of speakers on the channel. They are diverse enough in terms of opinion that the adage ‘it takes all sorts’ becomes very real. But what they all have in common is the idea of a Grace-based Gospel, not a Gospel of divine wrath and retribution and punishment. And they support their arguments with lots of Scripture, for those who might be worried that these people do not present a ‘Bible-based’ belief system.

Anyway, feel free to visit the site. I’m really enjoying it, myself.

Grace and Peace to you.

Footnotes

Footnotes
⇧1 Obviously these things do cost money for someone, somewhere, so there are links on the site to let you support them financially if you wish. But the links for this are at the bottom of the pages of the site, and are not displayed ostentatiously at all. I like this. It gives the viewer the choice but only if they are looking for it,  and there’s no pressure at all. Also some of the speakers have short advertisements for their books and/or courses, embedded in some of their videos. But that’s it.
⇧2 That is, the life of people who have walked in the Grace of God rather than legalism

My Heart to You

Ministry, Music, Worship

Once again, I need to apologise for the large gap between this post and my last one. As my regular readers will be aware, I do what I see Father doing, and until now He’s not given me anything to go on the blog. But here I am again with something new 🙂

Many of my readers will be familiar with the uprushing swell of worship in their heart as they respond to the love of Jesus. It’s unmistakable, and it’s really the natural response when our gratitude, love and thanksgiving overflow.

Over the years, many songs have instantly triggered this response in me. For example, my two favourite worship songs, When I Look into Your Holiness and Great is the Lord did this the first time I ever heard them. The beautiful song With Eyes For Only You did the same.

I was fortunate to have been sent a new batch of digitised tapes by a good friend who gave me them for my sister-site, VintageWorshipTapes.com. As I mention on the site, most of the tapes had at least one unforgettable worship gem on them, and this one was no exception. The song My Heart to You (In Sweet Abandon) was that song on one of these new tapes, and the first time I heard it, I was smitten 😀 What a gorgeous song, and what a response to the love of Christ. I share it here for your blessing:

 

My Lord, I love You, I praise You
My Lord, I worship at Your footstool
My Lord, I bow down before You
In sweet abandon
Total surrender
I give my heart to You

It is of course my prayer that this song blesses you and ministers to you on a deep level, and all the more so as you find it becomes an earworm and just keeps giving and releasing blessing into your life.

Enjoy!

Grace and Peace to you

Worship to Go

Ministry, Music, Personal, Worship

A few evenings ago, while driving in my car, I had the most precious and profound worship time, and I thought I would share it with my readers because it illustrates the raw power of real worship, and its ability to change the hearts of those worshipping. This was a very special worship experience for me, and although it will probably not have the same effect on other people, I wanted to share it also because I want to try and show just what happens when the Spirit orchestrates worship – even on an electronic mp3 player – for the building-up of the heart of the believer.[1] Plus of course it will probably bless my readers anyway 😀 For me, Her ‘playlist’, and the order in which the songs appeared on my player, were a deliberate setup in order to maximise the blessing for me. And it was absolutely wonderful! So I am sharing the story, the individual tracks, and (later on) the tracks all spliced into a single continuous piece in order hopefully to let you experience something of the profound time I had the other evening, and to hear how all the tracks flow together. This is worship leading at its best; thank You, Holy Spirit!

So, on this particular evening, I was driving up to Exeter (no, not to go flying! 😉 ) and, as is my usual custom, I had some worship music playing. I’ve done this for years, just so long as there’s no-one else in the car that the music will annoy 😀

Well, my iPod was set to random play, and the first song to come up was ‘Jesus we enthrone You’, segued[2] into ‘Ascribe Greatness’, from the Dales ’82 tape ‘Praise God in His Sanctuary’. These songs, and the way in which the ‘worship session’ went, are the reasons why I have included this piece in my series about my lovely late wife Fiona. These two songs, especially, held great meaning for us in the early part of our lives together and, on this particular day, they led to a tremendous time of healing for me, right there in the car.

Not long after we’d first begun dating, in 1982, we went to several worship evenings together at the Dales Bible Week in Harrogate. These two songs therefore have for me a lot of deep meaning and personal identification, and they bring back many happy memories of those days. In particular, I found that on this journey they actually recreated, in small measure, the feelings I had when we were first dating.

It was Fiona’s first Bible week, and she loved it; the worship especially. Fiona always had the heart of a worshipper, and those were the days where she first experienced what it was like to worship in a huge congregation of 8,000-plus people, using new and exuberant songs like these.

Lyrics are here, in case you want to join in[3]

The sound of the ladies’ voices, when they sing without the men, sounds very much like Fiona’s voice, and whenever I listen to these Dales ’82 songs, I always fancy I can hear her voice. Of course, that’s highly unlikely, given that there will have been about 4,000 ladies singing there each night, but, well, because we were there for most of the meetings that week, we are likely on the recording! Anyway, we learned these songs at Dales, and brought them back to our home congregation at Guiseley Baptist Church. We had them both at our wedding, and Fiona came in to the tune of Ascribe Greatness. Nearly thirty-three years later, we also sang it at Fiona’s funeral.

At this point, then, gratitude and worship were flowing, and the iPod segued into the perfect intro of Terry MacAlmon’s ‘Worship Interlude‘. Even the key transition was seamless, and Terry’s first words on the track, ‘Thank You Lord’, were just what I was feeling: an immense gratitude for Fiona’s life and for all the great times we’d had together. Time for me to sing in my Spirit language, because words were simply not enough to express what I was feeling[4].

The song followed into a mild key-change and then, to my complete amazement, into one of the most healing songs I have ever heard – and in the key that the (unconnected) Worship Interlude had just changed into. Honestly, the transition was simply seamless. But this song? It was My God and King, by Shauna Chanda, accompanied by Terry MacAlmon, and this particular piece holds so much meaning for me, because it was involved in the healing of deep hurts not long after I lost Fiona. Can you see how perfectly these songs were ‘set up’ for me? 😀

Lyrics[5]

Wow. Just, wow. And as you can imagine, at this point I was well aware that the Spirit was orchestrating the randomisation on the iPod!

Next, along came a Vineyard song from our early days as worship leaders and my being Director of Music at my church – again, perfectly seamless with regards to the key (stayed in the same key) – I worship You (I give You all the Honor) by Carl Tuttle:

Lyrics[6]

For so much of our lives together, especially when we lived in Yorkshire, we spent a lot of time living ‘on the breadline’, where we often had to search the house for the last two coins needed to buy a loaf of bread or whatever it was we needed. And I have to say that God has never seen us go short; He has always provided for all our needs – physical, emotional, spiritual. He’s been faithful (a God of faithfulness, as we have already seen above), and this song was the next up – the classic hymn ‘Great is Thy faithfulness‘, and this one is the Hosanna Music version:

Lyrics [7]

…and then leading into the very next song, Brian Doerksen’s Faithful One, another early-90’s Vineyard song which I introduced and led at my old Church in Leeds:

Lyrics[8]

And then, to finish, and perfectly timed as I was reaching my destination, my favourite worship song of all time, When I look into Your Holiness, in its original form (to me, at any rate), from the Harvestime tape ‘Let Your Spirit Rise‘, and preceded, as on the tape, with the classic song ‘As the Deer’. This was how I learned these songs, and this tape, again, was pivotal in my early development as a worship leader, and with Fiona by my side. We used to play this tape all the time when we were decorating our first house 🙂

Lyrics[9]

Well, I mean wow. What an amazing song set, and so well put together with transitions, keys, relevance and dynamics. It was obviously set up to minister healing in me from more of the damage I took when I lost Fiona – and it worked. I arrived at my destination feeling more whole than I have in a long time, and refreshed by the Presence of God[10]. And that night, I dreamed about her again, with yet another healing dream 🙂 This, again, is all part of the healing, which is progressively and each time bringing deeper and deeper wholeness to my shattered soul, to levels I can only guess at. I am definitely in the hands of the Master Physician, and the Spirit is doing Her work through the worship, orchestrated as only She can do it.

Here, for your edification, is the entire set, combined as a single track, with all the transitions left in place just as they were that evening.

While it isn’t possible, nor indeed desirable, to try to recreate the worship experience I had, still I wanted to share the set with you because, at the very least, it shows just how songs can be woven together to produce a remarkably relevant worship experience. And, anyway, this is great music! I hope it blesses you 😀

Grace and Peace to you

Footnotes

Footnotes
⇧1 Remember that the Spirit is not ‘caught on tape’ as such, but recordings of worship music have the ability to stir up the spirit of worship in the believer. The same Spirit that was present in those worship meetings is right there with you, right now.
⇧2 A segue (pronounced ‘segway’) is when one song flows into another
⇧3 Jesus, we enthrone You
We proclaim You our King
Standing here in the midst of us
We raise You up with our praise
And as we worship, build Your throne
And as we worship, build Your throne
And as we worship, build Your throne
Come Lord Jesus, and take Your place

Ascribe greatness to our God, the Rock
His work is perfect, and all His ways are just
Ascribe greatness to our God, the Rock
His work is perfect, and all His ways are just
A God of faithfulness, and without injustice
Good and upright is He
A God of faithfulness, and without injustice
Good and upright is He

⇧4 You may rightly be wondering what was happening to my driving while all this was going on! Well, one of the things about worship in the Spirit is  that it takes up very little of my ‘mental resources’; worship is so much of a way of life for me that I find it completely effortless. Sure, there are times when I need to stop singing and give it more concentration, but even then, even if I am only listening and not joining in the singing, still the presence of God burns right there in my heart while I negotiate a roundabout or complex junction or whatever.
⇧5 My God and King
To You alone I sing
You’re the face I seek
For all eternity

My God and King
To You alone I sing
You’re the face I seek
For all eternity

You’d be my dream come true
Just to be with You
How I’d see brand new
With eyes for only You

My God and King
Through the storm I sing
Covered by Your wing
This song of love I bring

You’d be my dream come true
Just to be with You
How I’d see brand new
With eyes for only You

You’d be my dream come true
Just to be with You
How I’d see brand new
With eyes for only You

You are my dream come true
Just to be with You
Now I see brand new
With eyes for only You

With eyes for only You

With eyes for only You

I have eyes for only You

⇧6 I give you all the honour
And praise that’s due Your name
For You are the King of glory
The Creator of all things

And I worship You
I give my life to You
I fall down on my knees
Yes, I worship You
I give my life to You
I fall down on my knees

As Your Spirit moves upon me now
You meet my deepest need
And I lift my hands up to Your throne
Your mercy I’ve received

You have broken chains that bound me
You’ve set this captive free
I will lift my voice to praise Your name
For all eternity

⇧7 (The arrangement is slightly different in that they do a slightly different mashup of the first two verses and refrains. Works for me)

Great is thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever shall be.

Great is thy faithfulness!
Great is thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see:
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided–
Great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon, and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy, and love.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide,
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

⇧8 Faithful One, so unchanging
Ageless One, You’re my Rock of peace
Lord of all I depend on You
I call out to You
Again and again
I call out to You
Again and again

You are my Rock in times of trouble
You lift me up when I fall down
All through the storm, Your love is the anchor
My hope is in You alone

⇧9 As the deer panteth for the water
So my soul longeth after Thee
You alone are my heart’s desire
And I long to worship Thee

You alone are my strength, my shield
To You alone may my spirit yield
You alone are my heart’s desire
And I long to worship You

 

When I look into Your Holiness
When I gaze into Your loveliness
When all things that surround become shadows in the light of You
When I’ve found the joy of reaching Your Heart
When my will becomes enthroned in Your Love
When all things that surround become shadows in the light of You

I worship You, I worship You
The reason I live is to worship You
I worship You, I worship You
The reason I live is to worship You

⇧10 My friends that I was meeting up with maybe noticed the radiance; I really don’t know!

Universal Freedom

Insights, Ministry, Others' stuff

I have titled this piece as I have because I see a common theme of freedom all around the world: ordinary believers from all faiths, denominations and cultures are realising that God is simply available to all who call on Him, and He releases them into the freedom to serve Him as He calls them, and not according to the whims, doctrines and dogmas of other humans.

I wrote, in an article I published a few weeks ago, about how I am ministering in a group for ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses. On the back of that article, then, I present here an extract from the book Crisis of Conscience, by Raymond Franz, a man who for sixty years was one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, and who for the final nine years of that time was one of the Governing Body (the ‘GB’), the supreme council of that religion.

In his book, Ray Franz describes in detail much of the way in which the GB works, and he also describes the ‘witch-hunt’ and inquisition that led to his dismissal from the GB, and eventually his ‘disfellowshipping’ from the Jehovah’s Witnesses entirely. I mention this in order to give context, because what Mr. Franz speaks of here describes perfectly the freedom one feels when one emerges from under the domination of man-made religion and the need to please men in accordance with their doctrines. In my previous article, I  talked about people I had met in the ex-Jehovah’s Witness community who are now living free in the Spirit. I would say that in fact complete freedom in the Spirit is not really possible until one has shaken off that need to please men; this shedding of the need to follow the ‘doctrines of men’ (Mt 15:9) is what my friends in that group have progressed to, and this is what this extract speaks of.  Note also the parallels with dealing with Religious antagonists of any persuasion – especially the ‘judging adversely one’s standing with God’. Heaven’s gatekeepers at work again!

Over to Ray Franz:

The mind which renounces, once and forever, a futile hope, has its compensation in ever growing calm. I have found that saying true in my own case. I know that it has proved true in the case of many others.

Whatever the initial distress— a distress that sometimes follows the demeaning experience of being interrogated by men who, in effect, strip one of human dignity, make the weight of their authority felt, and presume to judge adversely one’s standing with God— however torn one may feel inside, afterward there does come a distinct feeling of relief, of peace.

It is not just knowing that one is finally outside the reach of such men, no longer subject to their ecclesiastical scrutiny and pressure. Truth, and the refusal to compromise truth, brings freedom in other fine and wonderful ways. The more responsibly one makes use of that freedom, the finer the benefits. The greatest freedom enjoyed is that of being able to serve God and his Son— as well as serve for the good of all persons— untrammelled by the dictates of imperfect men. There is freedom to serve according to the dictates of one’s own conscience, according to the motivation of one’s own heart. The sense of having a great burden lifted off, the lightening of a heavy load, comes with that freedom.

If genuinely appreciated, this gives one the desire to do, not less, but more in service to the Ones giving that freedom.

– Franz, Raymond. Crisis of Conscience: The story of the struggle between loyalty to God and loyalty to one’s religion. (pp. 453-454). NuLife Press. Kindle Edition.

I think that’s absolutely brilliant and, like I said, people from all faith walks are finding this freedom today all over the world. It makes no difference whether they are Jehovah’s Witnesses, Muslims, Evangelicals, whatever; God is doing this.

What’s even more remarkable is that Ray Franz had this epiphany some decades ago. God was moving in the ranks of Jehovah’s Witnesses even back then.

Wow.

Ponder and digest, for there is great freedom in this.

Grace and Peace 🙂

Who’d ‘a Thunk It?

Insights, Ministry

Early in my Christian walk, I did a lot of study on the beliefs and doctrines of the major cults, with a special emphasis on the beliefs of the Jehovah’s Witnesses (JWs), or at least as far as I could understand those beliefs; they seem to me to be quite convoluted! 😉

I did those studies so that I could talk to the visitors who arrived on my doorstep, and actually be able to talk to them with some understanding. So, for nearly 40 years, I have always thought that people in cults were trapped in their legalism, and pretty-well ironclad and unreachable, save by a move of the Holy Spirit.

Well, recently I have had some very surprising experiences.

You see, over the past couple of weeks, I have been sharing and ministering in an online group for, shall we say, ‘Retired’ Jehovahs Witnesses

And I have to tell you that I have been welcomed with open arms, listened to, agreed with, and I have learned a lot from these lovely people too, about acceptance and patience and tolerance and how to deal with miserable naysayers (these latter not being people in the group!)

And I also want to tell you that there are ex-JWs in that group who have undergone the same deconstruction process that I have. And just like many ex-Evangelicals I know, they too have suffered grievous hurts from leadership, former friends and in many cases family members too; in many cases what they have suffered is far worse than what many British ex-Evangelicals have had to cope with themselves, because the cultic control mechanisms are far stronger.

And I have met people who are moving out into the freedom of the Spirit, reading the Bible with unshackled minds and listening to the prompting of the Spirit of Truth; I have met genuine God-seekers and I have met people who walk with Jesus despite the alien, man-made doctrines they had been taught for so long.

Friends, let me tell you that deconstruction and reconstruction is not just happening in Evangelicalism and/or in mainstream Christianity. It’s also happening in other places, including the cults, wherever in fact people’s hearts are turned towards the Lord. I’ve even seen people exhibiting relaxed attitudes towards LGBTQ+ relationships, surely one of the main bastions of legalism in any faith system.

I mean, it’s not all of the group members, of course; just like in deconstruction in Evangelical circles, people are at different stages in their faith walk and all their deconstruction stories are different. But still, it is happening, and it’s happenning far and wide.

And I can tell you it’s been a real eye-opener. We have far more in common with these people than I could ever have imagined. These people are walking in Grace and recognising it for what it is; they are walking free of legalism and they are living in the Spirit.

This is just sooooo encouraging! This is part of the major worldwide work of God that is happening in our time – people coming out from under legalism in all its forms and finding true Grace – and it’s even happening in the cults! This makes me laugh for joy 😀

It’s amazing!

Who’d ‘a thunk it?

For anyone reading this who is from that group, I welcome you to my blog in the same way as you welcomed me into your group! I hope you find it a blessing 😀

No Better Place

Ministry, Music, Others' stuff, Worship

Here is one my my favourite worship songs, and it’s from my favourite Christian artist, Don Francisco. This track is from the 1988 album ‘High Praise‘, in which Don departs from his usual ‘story songs’ and instead presents a series of lovely praise and worship songs.

This song, No Better Place, reflects my heart of worship. There is indeed no better place than to be before His Throne, basking in His Presence and knowing His love. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.

 

There is no better place
Than to be here and to look upon Your Face
In Your church or all alone
No better place than to be before Your Throne

God of comfort, Lord of mercy
Love that knows no bound
I adore you, worship and bow down
Worship and bow down

 

(Song shared here with Don’s kind permission)

Don’s music can be purchased for download or bought as audio CDs on his website, www.donfrancisco.com. There’s also a lot of his music available on YouTube.

Autumn

Ministry, Music, Others' stuff, Personal

As I said in a previous post, my supremely talented daughter Ellie had prereleased her first EP, the four-track album ‘Autumn’.

Recently, the album became available for download on Amazon for the very reasonable price of £2.36, so as her dutiful and very proud Dad I really had to post a link.

If you’re interested in getting hold of a copy of ‘Autumn’, just click the image below to go to its Amazon UK sales page. It will also be available on your own country’s Amazon page. All proceeds go to our local Hospice, Rowcroft Hospice, where Ellie’s Mum was looked after for her last few days on this earth.

 

Three Years

Ministry, Music, Others' stuff, Personal

Today, it is three years since my love and soul-mate Fiona passed into the Presence of her Lord.

I so miss the feisty, spirited, funny, gentle, talented, generous, gorgeous, wise and above all deeply loving lady that she was.

We have kept her memory very much alive, in so many ways, the chief of which is that we recall the things that she did that were kind, funny and generous, when we are reminded of her by doing those things ourselves. And that’s significant because it means that in a lot of ways we are continuing to be Fiona to ourselves and to others.

We will say things like, ‘Mum would have found that hilarious’, or ‘I think Mum would have done it like this’. And then we laugh about it. And we are sure that ‘that was what Mum would have wanted’ 😀 Because she was that kind of person.

I still dream about her often. I still see little signs of her around the house: pictures, of course, but also little things that she made or set up that had her figurative ‘fingerprints’ all over them. Processes she set in place that we still use. I still see myself doing things that I learned from her, either directly or by ‘absorption’. I still see her attitudes in things I do.

What a privilege! What an intimate, close-up way of remembering a life so precious! So much of what she was to us is still with us…but the house still lacks the light of her presence. The gap she has left is still immense. And yet, I know beyond a shadow of doubt that I will see her again. Even though I may have to wait some decades, and of course I am not ‘wishing my life away’, still I know that she is there ready to welcome me, alongside Jesus, into that glorious Place where she now is. What a day that will be! 😀

On the first anniversary of Fe’s loss, I posted on here a track of my talented daughter Ellie singing the lovely song ‘Fly to Jesus‘. Fe would have been so proud of her. Well this year she would have been even more proud of her, because just a couple of weeks ago, Ellie put on prerelease her first ever EP, Autumn. Ellie has created this EP in the face of a debilitating illness, putting in work on it whenever she has been able, and now the finished product is out there and soon to become available. I am so proud of her and, like I said, I know her Mum would have been too!

The album is due to be released on 9th November, and all profits from sales will be going to Rowcroft Hospice, the place where Fiona was looked after in her final days on this earth. Rowcroft do such incredible work with cancer patients during their illnesses, with their families, and with end-of-life care.

Here is the link, then, to Ellie’s EP album – Autumn, on Amazon (and it’s also available on places like Spotify and iTunes too). And there are preview clips too.

Four songs written and performed by one of the most talented young musicians I have ever known – and that’s not just parental bias, you know! 😉 But yes, again, Fiona would have been so proud of her! Click the album cover graphic below to go to the Amazon UK prerelease page (on 9th November, it will become the sales page):

She has also released one of the songs, 365, later today as a single. If you listen to this, you will need a big box of tissues…

Here’s the YouTube video:

…and it too can be purchased on Amazon, as a single:

Fiona, you would have been sooooo proud of our Ellie! 😀

Edit: I have just looked at the previous post in the series, ‘In So Many Ways…‘. It’s almost identical in content to this one (apart from the plug for Ellie’s EP!). I find that interesting because to me it suggests that what we have left, after losing Fiona, is reasonably constant in its occurrence and its quality. In other words, these little habits I describe in this piece, I also noted in the previous one. So to me that means that our lasting legacy from Fiona is already in place and established. And that’s good news.